Hung the F over || Jschlatt x Reader x Wilbur

I blame myself, or should I?

I sat there with my head down as I tried holding back the tears, even though I knew this was coming. I wasn't stupid the room went client as all the attention in the room directed towards me. As I felt the atmosphere wrap around my head, I felt this pain in my heart. As if it was overheating and making me sick. But when I looked up everyone else also had their head down, and once again Loona crying and shaking. I saw schlatt shaking his head and biting his lip. I looked at the doctor as I saw her mouth open to say something.
"Now, we will try everything in our power to help you through this, we have resources and places you can go to for therap-"

"How about abortion" I blurted out cutter her off

"W-well-" she paused and looked away for a second.
"y/n" schlatts voice peeked through looking at me "abortion was banned recently. So......." he looked back at the floor. I could tell he was trying to hold something back because I heard the sour tone and the way his voice cracked at the end.
I looked back up at the doctor, who looked away.
"I'm going to let y'all have some alone time, I'll be back shortly with all the info you need to know" she turned and walked out the room making sure to not slam the door.
I looked blankly at the wall across from me horrified, like I had nothing left. That my life was going to be fucked for the rest of my time. The pain in my heart grew, as i didn't get sad, but angrier. My breathing started taking a faster paste, and I felt heated. Like I hated everyone.
"y/n" schlatt spoke again "I know it's going to be tough, and I know -, ...... I just know you're strong enough to get through this" schlatt looked at me.
"I-I'm" I took a deep breath as I felt my chest dip "a don't think I can" I said as I felt more tears.
"y-y-y/n I-I'm so so s-sorry" Loona looked at me as her face red and her looking more of a mess then before as she sobbed "I-I s-should've-done something" she cried harder, and for some reason I only felt slightly bad for her, even though she should be focusing on me, and she would have done something.

Or maybe those angry thoughts were just me being confused and crazy, Maybe I should have tried harder, Maybe I'm just in denial.
Denial about everything

I think I just need to screw my head on right.

"I-it's not your fault." I faced her as she kept sobbing into her hand "As hard as it is to say....... It was bound to happe-"
"THE FUCK IT WASNT, YOU WERNT SUPOSE TO GET GROOMED, KIDNAPED, RAPED, AND INPREGNATED!" she shouted getting up and forgetting the sorry tears. "AND YOU FUCKER" she looked at schlatt "You, YOU KNEW DIDNT YOU" she pointed.

What?

"W-WHAT, NO" he got taken aback by Loonas words.
"DON'T LIE TO ME, YOU KNEW HE WANTED HER, YOU KNEW HE DRUGGED HER. YOU KNEW EVERY NIGHT HE DRUGGED HER HE TOOK HER TO HIS ROOM AND INTO HIS BED."
He looked at her with a sorrowful face, and he looked at me before looking down.
"I...." he paused and caught his frog thought before he choked on it and ended up crying. "I don't know what I know. All I know is he.. Raped her. I don't know what he did before." he sighed.
"Your fuckin' bullshiting, You and him would have fights over it, every time he slid something into her drink or food." She confronted him.

What?
No way
Could he have known?
Did he let Wil drug me?

But on the other hand, how did Loona know so much.

"And how do you assume so much" schlatt questions her.

My thought exactly

"What do you mean it's the truth? Isn't it?" she asked?
"Don't even try and change it."
"I'm changing it you're the one trying to the conversation."

I sat there and listened to both of their bickering as they went back and forth. They both made good points, but I didn't know who to trust at this point. I mean the day Wil returned with cake for me and when I passed out I did- i think I saw them arguing, and they always argued and didn't really ever tell me what. But how does Loona know that and how did she know he slipped stuff into my food and drinks? I don't know but a lot of things were not clicking together. I looked up to see them nagging at each other; pointing fingers, strong body language, etc. How did she know, but did schlatt know? And there it was, the pain in my heart, the feeling of wanting to put a bullet through someone's head or my own.
"Get out" I mumbled.
"What" Loona said as they stopped fighting and looked at me.
"GET OUT. BOTH OF YOU" the rage took over.
"y/-"
"Please" I cut Loona off "i need to think without two people fighting in the background" I looked down at the ugly hospital sheets and clenched them in my fist as hard as I could. I didn't even bother to look at them as they walked out the door. I didn't care if Loona left, I didn't care if schlatt knew, I didn't care about anything at the time. I just wanted some alone time. I just wanted time to think about what the fuck I was going to do with a FUCKIN' KID, From A STUPID FUCKIN PEDO THAT GAINED MY TRUST AND FUCKED ME OVER, LITERALY AND FIGURITIVLE. Now I'm stuck with a kid at 16. But I mean what different would it be if I would have gotten pregnant by some guy I slept with at a party, But it's completely different. What about Eddie.

Shit, I almost forgot about him.

I replayed the scene of him slowly tumbling to the ground and being lifeless, and how his last words were directed to me, just like Wil's last words.

Why is this happening, this wasn't supposed to happen. I'm only 16, I'm supposed to be having fun with my friends and hating school. But my life has turned to shit.
And I don't know who to blame for it.

Or should I just blame myself?