forever star

chapter 15

John Matthew

Everything has been going well with Emma. I love being with her, and I believe she's the best choice I've made. I want to start a family with her and make her my wife. But I'm not sure if she wants the same. Should I ask her? I see her sitting on the couch knitting a scarf. I don't understand why she's making one; if she needs it, she could just ask me. Maybe it's just a hobby for her, I guess.

"Hey, Emma," I said, sitting next to her.

"John, what's up?" she replied. I wasn't sure if it was the right time to ask her.

"Emma, what do you want?" I asked, feeling impatient for her answer.

"What do you mean, what I want?" she asked, looking confused.

"Like, anything," I said.

"Okay, dear, you're confusing me. Is something bothering you? Do you want to talk to me about something?" she asked, putting her hand on my shoulder.

I was shocked. How could she even know?

"I want to have kids with you," I blurted out. Her face turned red, and she slapped my shoulders so hard.

"Ow, that hurts," I winced, rubbing my shoulders.

"You pervert! I'm sick, okay? I can't handle it. Is this why you came here?" she snapped.

"Well, the real reason is that I want a family with you. I want to marry you. It's okay if you don't want kids; I'll wait," I explained. She looked at me with tears in her eyes.

"John, you know I'm dying, right?" she said, her voice barely audible.

"Yes, and I can save you. Just trust me. I know there's a 90% chance you could die, but that 10% gives me hope that you could live, Emma, with me, with your mom, with our friends," I said. There was silence between us. She came and hugged me.

"My mom died, John. The day I collapsed, my neighbors told me she was found dead. That's why I couldn't handle the news because I was all alone. But now I want to build a family with you, John. I want to live," she said, tears streaming down her face. I hugged her tightly, never wanting to let her go.

"I will save you, Emma," I promised.

After one month

Me and David are working really hard on her case. I need to move her back to the hospital because of her condition. Most of the time, I do all the work by myself because David needs to see other patients too. I really hate seeing her in that hospital bed, but it's the only place where she can breathe. I want to give her the good life she deserves. After a hectic day, it was 2 am. I put my glasses down and went to Emma's room. She was sleeping peacefully. I went up to her and put my head on her lap. I felt a hand on my hair; she was caressing.

"Don't be too hard on yourself, John. You could get sick," she said.

"I can't rest until your surgery is done," I replied, closing my eyes. I'm afraid. What if the surgery doesn't go well? I hope it goes well.

The next day

During lunch break, I was sitting alone, thinking about the surgery, when suddenly David came over.

"Hey, John, still stressing about the surgery?" he asked, taking a bite from his sandwich.

"Yeah, I'm worried I might lose her during the surgery," I replied, looking down.

"Look, man, if you stress about this, it won't help you. When we do her surgery, just be a doctor, okay? Do your job as a doctor, not a lover," he advised before leaving and grabbing another sandwich from my plate. I chuckled. What a guy.