The Hell must be better Place

Fuck my life!

                   •~Candice~•

Sometimes due you think, like what is the actual purpose of you in this world ? Or what are you even doing ? Why are you doing this ? Do you actual want to do this ? Will that is some of the questions I have been asking myself since almost past 22 years of my life , will I'm 27 in 3 weeks turning 28. The reason I said last 22 years is because the fast five years of my life was not real life, I was just... shiting , eating and sleeping anyway aren't we all were doing the same thing during that age.

Let's not move away from the topic so practically from last 22 years that I have lived or I think I have lived, there is just one question that I have been asking myself and that is "what is my purpose" ? Earning money ? Living luxurious life ? Having a cool boyfriend? Or an ultimate death ? I don't really know.  Sometimes I just question my own existence.

According to my bestfriend Zoey I should probably see a therapist and she even send me to see one. well the 2 month of session that I had just concluded on that I'm fully normal person but just I little bit of an overthinker probably alot According to my therapist anyway so in conclusion  I can says I just like to think and that thinking of my has a never ending stop which is a problem.

I quit my job around 3 months ago, honestly in last 4 years I have quite around 32 jobs . I know that is alot but I can't help it I just don't really enjoyed any one of them . Growing up I always loved managing things, right now I don't even know what that means but some how I  thought it was worlds best idea to take hospitality management and communications as my major. I don't really regret but.... well again anyways this degree of my has lead me to quitting 32 jobs and now I'm on the search of 33th job.

Currently I'm laying on the floor in the living room of my apartment hiding away from the world, well I have been in my apartment since I have quit my job and that was three months ago. I'm supposed to be looking for jobs but I'm just to tied to even get up and get out of my apartment and go into the war of this world.

One thing that I hate more than my overthinking problem is social gathering. I abosolutely despise social gathering, like literally I don't go out like I never real go out but just once in blue moon and that is also because of my bestfriend. Well Here we are on that once in a blue moon day gusse what today I'm going out to celebrate that once in a blue moon day. Honestly I'm literally being forced to go out clubbing with Zoey and "her friends".

Heavens sake! God I'm going to bail on her, there is no way I'm going out with bunch of people who are living the life they have always dreamed off. Where as I on the other hand "A total jobless disaster". The last thing right now I want is to become topic of discussionn and I know very well that if I go out today I'm going to be thinking over all the events that are going to be occrring today, for the next 2 weeks because those friends of my bestfriend are a real bicth and they are not going to fucking shut up about my future plans.

As I was about to text zoey how extremely sorry I'm that I won't be coming because I'm too fucking ill to participate in the clubbing shit show and Of course I didn't write the entire thing but just before I could send it somebody or rather I must say certain someone who has the audacity to ring my door bell like it's there personal fucking property. Jesus I really hate noise. Well As I made my way towards the door I said aloud "fucking christ sake I'm coming you can stop", as soon as I opened the door their stood a gorgeous female with chocolate brown glowing skin, black hair and a smiling face My dear bestfriend "Zoey Jackson". I have often wonder why she always have a smile on her face and I have even  asked her to which she replied  "world is always planning to give you reasons so you cannot smile. so one should always kick the world in the butt and make there way though life with a smile" She sometimes talks alot of sense "For heavens sake can you just stop zoning out" Zoey shouted and I broke out of my spell "Hey! What a pleasant surprise, you are here without informing me" "of course I'm here. Now move away girl, we have no time, we are already running late".

She burged into my house like she is the freaking owner "Due you seriously even try to clean this place" well my place truly is a mess but it's not like I have visitors often actually I don't have any visitor at all. "Cani come on girl you need to get out of this stupid house and have some fun" wait did she just said that? How dare she called my house stupid..  "I'm having very much fun in this stupid house of mine for your information" I said clearly showing that I was offended with her comment, It's not like she was going to give a fuck about it but still..."You clearly need to Go out more often, its been such a long tine that you have hangout with us" will it had been a long time that was also because Zoey and her friends literally went out every week there was no club left in the town were they have not visited.  When I didn't not said anything in reply. Zoey directly jumped onto the real matter in hand as she said in one single fuchkin go "so anyway we're going out tonight" she took a comfortable sit on my bed and continued  "so what are you wearing? Have you choose an outfit? Forget it! I have brought you a fabulous dress! Come on let's get ready girl! We're going to party!" Oh shit here we go, now there is no backing out . I was definitely going on this shitty clubbing. Dear Heaven I have bad feelings about this! Fuck this no actually FUCK MY LIFE....

Okay that's it the very first chapter. Do comments and let me know your thoughts. English is not my first language so please I really request you people to be kind.

             Thanks for Reading.
                  See You Soon !