Zokla | Theon Greyjoy

Chapter 13

Though he'd wished to desert when he learned of their father's death so that he could fight for Robb, his brothers had kept him firm to his vows. They'd ventured beyond-the-Wall to answer to some reports of wildlings united for a battle. Jon had witnessed a baby boy being offered to the White Walkers at Craster's Keep, the home of a sick man who married his daughters to make more daughters, the sons sacrifices to the Army of the Dead.

After this, they'd been trying to find Qhorin Halfhand, a Night's Watch scout who'd been looking to find the origin of the wights that attacked Castle Black. They'd encountered a group of wildlings, killing all but a woman named Ygritte. Jon stared at his feet, admitting that he hadn't been able to execute her. She'd given him the slip and he'd ended up traveling alone with her until they encountered their men again, where they then went to find the King Beyond-the-Wall, Mance Rayder.

Jon had gotten to know many of the wildlings while infiltrating their camp, learning about Mance's goal to bring the wildlings south of the Wall to save them all from the threat of the White Walkers. He'd traveled with them for a time, and admitted that he'd fallen in love with Ygritte. They'd been separated after their group crossed the Wall and entered the Gift.

He'd returned to Castle Black to tell them all he'd learned and to prepare them for the attack the wildlings would launch. They'd managed to hold them back for an entire night before Stannis arrived. Ygritte had died and Jon had been prepared to kill Mance to end the fight. He'd been the one to put Mance out of his misery when Stannis burnt him at the stake.

Then came the worst part of all. The Night's Watch men had thought Jon a wildling lover. Ser Alliser Thorne still hated him. Only his friends supported him, knowing Jon remained honorable. Stannis had offered to legitimize him and name him Warden of the North, but Jon cared more about the impact he could make there at the Wall. Lyarra admired him for it. Unfortunately, the other men could not tolerate that he'd gone beyond-the-Wall to let wildlings in, allowing them land in the Gift to permit their survival. He fought for the living and they killed him for it.

"Maggy told me you would die," she said, only after telling him what she'd experienced. "She said it would be certain. And so I chose... I chose to go and find Robb. I thought if I could not save you, I could perhaps... oh, gods, Jon."

"You couldn't have stopped it," he said. "I don't think you would have made it to the Wall alive. And even if you did, at that time... you and Minisa would have been there when the wildlings attacked. I don't know if you would have been safe. I would have hated for you to be present when... when..." He shook his head. "I could not stay there after that. I needed to leave, I needed to escape that. When I was shown your letter, when I realized that you'd retaken our home..."

"You're home now," she said, rubbing his shoulder. "You may stay here forever. I'm so very sorry, Jon. What happened to you... it never should have happened. That woman... that Red Priestess... I don't know how she managed to bring you back, but it was for a reason. We're going to face that reason together. We won't get separated again."

He sighed deeply, breathing several times before he spoke. "I should hope that to be true. Ser Davos Seaworth is only a few days behind me... he said he would come here with me. He believes in me. A good friend of mine is now Lord Commander of the Night's Watch. I have allies with the wildlings– Tormund Giantsbane came to aid my brothers when I was killed. Everyone believes..." He hesitated. "They believe I should hold the seat of Winterfell."

"Then you should."

"Lyarra, that is absurd. I didn't retake Winterfell, you did. I remain a bastard."

"I don't want the seat, Jon," she said. "I want to be able to step aside and focus only on my daughter's safety, on her happiness. I've done terrible things to reach this position. I don't want it nor do I believe I truly deserve it. I may have defeated House Bolton but I don't know anything about leading people. I didn't lead anyone when Robb left, I only supervised Bran and even then he was better at it than I ever was. It's not where my talents lie. You're father's eldest son and you have proven to be an honorable man. More honorable than me and, well, we may both be clever, but you're clever in the way the North needs. I can be clever when we're under attack but the rest of it... I wouldn't know what to do!"