love letters

parting gift

reason for parting?

i needed time.

time was my safe space. it helped me think about you.

the warning signs and flaws; when you looked at me a certain way, telling me your truths. your thoughts about me.

conversations we had where i missed the rude comments. where i congratulated you and you dismissed me. my efforts. when you joked because of my trying hard to make a dream a reality.

i didn't need that.

when i was with you--- when i met you, i mostly saw the beauty. i loved your eyes.

your smile, hands, hair, every feature.

but now i think about you... not in your previous light. it's dark and painful.

and makes me feel dumb. i knew i was the smartest between us, yet i thought i'd die for you. i knew i would if you asked me... or told me. it was all you.

you had your moments, though. moments i could tell were genuine. when you smiled at me, looked at me a certain way...

i could tell.

but, i'm glad you at least stuck around for a while... you know, despite the... masquerade.

it was nice seeing you yesterday. i mean, it wasn't, but, nevermind. i'm sorry for what happened to you.

rest in peace and my heart shall as well.

you were a thought that stayed and drifted, but never left.

love you.

-sena lonne