I'm not okay destiel/sabriel

Why Dean, Why Chapter 4

*warning self harming in this chapter*

(Dean POV)

Gabe hasn't talked to me the whole way there. Why can't he understand that I didn't mean it? Why won't anyone believe me? I'm an awful human being.

We got to the hospital, still not talking, Gabe walked the desk. I put hand on his shoulder, and just pointed him to the room. We walk in, castile looking at me, because I was the fist to walk in. Then he saw the black bruises on my jaw and eye.

"What the hell happened to you?" He looked shocked and confused.

"Me." a blunt voice came from behind the entry door of the room. Gabriel stepped out of the hallway, and into the room. Castiel looked pissed.

" What is the reason you hit him, what did he do? Castiel stared a Gabriel with a faint frown.

"Well he comes in about 4 hours ago crying because he hit someone with his bike. Yes I was sympathetic, but I didn't know it was my FÜCKING BROTHER! So I beat the shit out of him when I found out." Mid sentence he had raised his voice. why was he acting like this? I didn't mean to hurt Cas. WHY!

(Gabriel POV)

I don't know why I was so mad at him. I just felt it was all Deans fault. My baby brother was in the hospital because of him. I hate Dean so much. When I looked at Cas, all I felt was rage. I don't hate Dean. What am I talking about, he is my best friend and I was just angry at him for something he didn't do.

"I'm sorry Dean for hitting you, and I know its not your fault that you hit him. And... how did you get hit any way Cas?"

"I was late for a class and, well I saw him coming....but I ran for it." Cas looked down at his hand and then to Dean. I didn't like the way that he was looking at him, maybe I'm paranoid, but Cas looked like there was lust in his eyes. Cas I know your hurting, BUT STAY THE F CK AWAY FROM DEAN! Wait why did I just think that?

(Dean POV)

After we got back, Gabe's "sorry" didn't make me feel any better. I had a very busy day and I needed to take a bath. I walk in the bathroom. God I felt awful about me even existing. It feels like a thousand little knifes are plunged into my heart. I just wanted the pain to stop. I look at the scars on my wrist and legs. Tears started to fall silently onto my cheek. I took the razor from behind the cabinet, taped to the top, hidden from site. All the bad things that people ever said to me, and the moments of today, start flooding into my head. I saw true hate in Gabriel's face today, and he couldn't take that back.

I take the razor to my skin, slicing 1 inch cuts into my arm. I moved down to my fully scared legs, making fresh cuts down the side. "I have no purpose in life. Every one hates me. Even Gabe." I whisper to myself. Leaning my head against the mirror, thoughts zooming through my head. I drift off into wonderland. All I hear is the water running.

(Gabriel POV)

I'm worried about dean. He is a very sensitive guy, so I go and check on him. all I hear is the shower running.

"Dean, you in there?" No reply. "Dean, Can I come in?" Still no reply. I stat to get really worried about him, so I slowly open the bathroom door.

"De...? OH GOD DEAN STOP PLEASE NO DONT DO THIS WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I walk in on my best friend cutting himself. Oh God what have I done to make him do this to himself. Then I see it, all the cut marks all down his arms and legs. MY poor dean, how could I not notice all the pain he was going through?

(Dean POV)

I snap back when I hear a screaming Gabe come rushing into the bathroom. I realize what I was doing, and now I realize that Gabe knows too. I hear Gabriel calling my name, throwing away the razor in my hand.

"Why are you doing this Dean? Please PLEASE tell me why?" Gabriel swallows me into hugs. I didn't even realize how much I slit. There was blood all over the counter and sink, it was dripping on the floor from my open wounds.

(Gabriel POV)

My hand where shaking. Dean was crying into my shoulder, we where both crying. "Dean why, I love you so much, why would you do this to yourself."

"You do?"

"I said that out loud! Shit!" Dean then grabs me, crashes his lips into mine. I kiss back, tongues fighting for dominance. "love you Dean." i say moaning into his mouth.

"I love you too,trickster."

A/N ops plot twist! That wasn't what you expected was it now, well. * evil laughter in distance*