Phone Calls

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I sit on the bed as Beth pulls out a few t-shirts and short combinations for me. I insist I want a hoodie but she's adamant I'll get heatstroke.

"This one is fine" she says as she hands me a plain white t-shirt. It's quite small and it's cropped.
"Try that one and if it's too big still I'll dig around for another crop top"

I accept the t-shirt and stare at it for a minute before deciding to just put it over my long sleeve.
It's quite baggy but due to the crops it shows part of my stomach and quite a lot of my arms up to my shoulders.
"Take off the sleeves, Gracie, it's the hottest day this year!" She says with a frown and a grin. I know I can't so I just shake my head.

"No I'll be fine" I insist. She raised her eyebrows but leaves off it. I borrow a pair of denim shorts and the t-shirt and we make our way downstairs where Steph and Viv were waiting for us. Viv wasn't going on the walk since she had emails to do or something.

"Heya ready to go?" Steph asks. She's got Calvin on a lead and he's resting his head on her shoe.
"Are you not gonna absolutely roast?" She says looking at my top. I shrug.

"I don't want to burn" I reply back. She gives a quick Look to Beth but no further questions are asked. We walk down to the park where Jordan and Blu are sitting on a bench.

"Hey chicken!" Beth says as she hugs Jordan.

"Hey Beth, hi Steph" Jordan says with a smile. She's so small, but then again I'm smaller...I don't know what that says about me to be honest. I'm pocket sized, as Junia would say.
"Hi...Gracie Thedorise right?" She says with her eyebrow raised and a confused, anxious look shot at Beth indicating she does not know if she's got this wrong. I smile.

"Yep, nice to meet you" I grin. She smiles back.

"You're so much smaller than you are on tv" she says with a laugh.

"You're one to talk" I scoff sarcastically with a laugh.
She smirks. The conversations go easily, Beth doing most of the talking. We eventually sit down on the grass and let the dogs off the lead to run around after a tennis ball.

"How are the girls?" Jordan asks.

"Good good" Steph replies. "Not too stressed about the game on Sunday. How are things at Villa?"

"Grand. Not much going on to be honest."'Jordan says with a shrug.
"Tell me about the new signing though" she says with a cheeky glance at me. I'm on the grass rolling around with the dogs and chucking the tennis ball back and forth.

"Me?" I ask with a finger pointing at myself.

"Yeah you" Beth laughs. I blush with embarrassment but I walk over to them so I can hear better.
"Gracie is an absolute legend" Beth says. "So tekky"

"Beth! Sounds weird when you to say that" I cringe.

"What I'm only 28, Gracie" Beth laughs.
"She's Italian by the way Jordi"

"Oo cool" Jordan says.

"No I'm not Italian, I speak Italian and I grew up there but I'm English all the way through." I say as though I'm offended, but I can't keep it together. I've been laughing so much.

"Lioness?" Steph asks with an eyebrow raised.

"Maybe"

We start talking about the next international breaks and then we decide it's time to get going home. Beth offers dinner but they both have plans. I end up going home with Beth for dinner. As we're walking back along the road she turns to me.

"Gracie you know...when I was a new signing I cried myself to sleep every night for ages. It's tough, no matter what age you are. Leaving your home, your family, your friends, the familiarity. It's difficult. Nobody expects you to be perfectly fine. Me and Viv genuinely do want to help you and we can. We've both been in situations in our career where we've needed help. Viv told me about what you said to her a few days ago about quitting football and I just want to say be careful. When you're injured, or even during just one of the many football lows, you make choices and decisions you don't actually mean. You say things you wouldn't normally say. Just please think about this more, ok?"

I turn to her. My eyes wide.
"What? I thought Viv wouldn't say anything" I say. I'm hurt- I trusted Viv.

"She was stressed out about it and I figured it was about you since she kept asking if anyone had talked to you. I asked her about it and she had to tell me, she wanted me to talk to you. I won't tell anyone else and neither will she. But Gracie really, don't give up on this career just yet."

I nod and stare at my feet. I don't want to keep talking about this. Beth picks up on the hint and puts her arm around me.
"C'mon then, Vivi will have dinner on" she says and we keep walking.

"Good walk?" Viv says while she serves the food up onto three plates.

"Yeah nice to see Jordan- she really likes Gracie what with them both being tiny" she shoots me a look and a smirk. I drop my jaw open.

"Uh Beth I am not tiny! And besides, I'm at ideal height to get past defenders- too small for them or even see me" I say back with a grin. Beth rolls her eyes but laughs. We sit down at the table like we used to when I lived here.

"You know...Jordan nobbs was always my idol growing up. Her and Kim Little. I don't really know why but I always just wanted to be her. I always insisted on playing in number 8 whether that was the position or not. It was actually quite mad to meet her in person." I say shyly. Beth looks me in the eye.

"You should have told her that," Beth says.

"No because that makes it sound like she's ancient shes only thirty one or something" I say back awkwardly. Beth laughs.

We eat dinner and chat about international breaks, but mostly we steer clear of football and mainly focus on funny stories and things we've read recently and stuff like that. Afterwards, Viv offers to drive me home.

I get into the apartment and immediately I go to the shower. I run the water and stand under it. I know I should probably sweep the floors of the apartment since they're getting increasingly more dirty but I'm not really bothered. I know I need to call Liv so I get out of the shower and get changed into my pyjamas and get into bed. I feel like everything is falling apart and yet everything is how it should be. Nothing dramatic has happened and yet it's like I'm drowning.

I call Liv.

___________

Me: hi

Liv: hi my love, you ok?

Me: yeah I'm fine, how are you?

Liv: really good, I spent the day with Lolita and Maisie and we went swimming and to the shops and now they're watching a movie while I finish up some of my uni work

Me: that's nice.

Liv: how was your day?

Me: I didn't do very much.

Liv: training?

Me: yeah. It was fine. I went out for a walk with Beth, Steph and Jordan Nobbs

Liv: I love how causally you say that as though you didn't just get to hang out with the Jordan Nobbs

Me: *i laugh* yeah it was really cool I was freaking out on the inside

Liv: I was talking to mi madre and...please be honest and tell me how you feel about this- but she was asking if I'd stay a little longer. Only another week extra but please tell me if you don't want me to

Me: oh. No you should stay. Livy you should stay as long as you need and want- it's your family.

Liv: are you sure because I haven't cancelled the flights yet so please tell me if you want me to come home

Me: no seriously it's ok- it's good that you get to hang out with your family. Stay as long as you want. I miss you though

Liv: thank you mi cariño I miss you so much. I love you

*liv leans her lips into the camera and kisses the screen. I blow a kiss back*

Me: I love you too. I really should be getting to bed. Goodnight mi amor

Liv: goodnight mi cariño

_______________

I put my phone down and rolled over so I was on my back. I stared at the ceiling. I don't feel well. Maybe I'll call in sick for training tomorrow. I don't want to go. I feel my eyes close and I drift off to sleep.

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