A Collection of Short Stories

Reverse Cinderella

There was once a woman who was quite rich, who married a man who was not quite so rich. But he doesn't matter as he died not long after their son was born.

The woman married again, this time to a man who was also quite rich. But then she died soon after of "mysterious" circumstances, leaving her son with her second husband and his two charming sons.

The were horrible to the son, making him do their chores and other heinous tasks. One even made him sweep the floor! Can you imagine that? All that monotonous actions with a stick with bristles on the end. Back, forth, back, forth. Dirt and dust flying everywhere. Probably more mess at the end than the start. Ugh, yuk yuk yuk.

Any way, back to the story. The step-bros called the boy Dirt-Boy (I know, original much. No one said that they were bright) and treated him like, well, dirt. Even his step-dad didn't pay much attention to him, except when he needed something done and didn't want to pay the other servants more for doing it.

So Dirt-Boy lived like this for as long as he remembered (which was honestly like only 18 years seeing as this is a children's story and the protagonist is meant to be young, stupid stereotypes). But one day that all changed. Dun dun dun.

That day, or more correctly, night, was the Royal Princess's debutante ball. All the eligible men of the country were invited to attend and goggle open-mouthed with drool hanging out at the princess's beauty. And the one who managed to look the less disgusting while doing so would potentially marry the princess.

Upon hearing this, Dirt-Boy was determined to attend and told his step-father so.

"No you won't," his step-father told him, and that was the end of the matter.

His step-bros sneered at him as they put on their fine suits and went to the ball. Dirt-Boy went and sat by his chamber-pot and cried in a very girly fashion.

"Cut it out and be a man!" a grumpy voice suddenly snapped.

Dirt-Boy looked up to see the ugliest creature he'd ever seen sitting in his chamber pot. It was small and shriveled, it's skin red and with horns sticking out of its head. It wore a tailored suit and was smoking a cigar, reclining back amongst the yellow liquid like it was a bath.

"Who are you?" Dirt-Boy demanded. "And what are you doing with my pee? That's mine!"

"I'm your Ugly Demon-Uncle," the creature told him sneeringly. "And this is my pee now. It's delicious!" As if to prove its point, it bent down and slurped up a bit, smiling contentedly.

"Ooooo-k," Dirt-Boy said. "What do you want then?"

"To make you a man! Seriously, this girly crying is no good. Makes you look weaker than you actually are. So what would make you a man, lad?"

"The ball, I'd say."

"Oh good choice! Nothing like some dancing to make a man! Here we go!"

He flicked his cigar at Dirt-Boy and ashes scattered all over the kid. He closed his eyes as he felt magic swirling around him, and when he opened his eyes, his clothes had changed. Instead of his ragged, filthy scraps, he was in a beautiful sparkling ball gown with heels on his feet and jewelry decking his body.

"Hey!" he protested. "I'm a boy, not a girl!"

"That crying could have fooled me," the Ugly Demon-Uncle muttered. "Hold on, I got it."

He flickered his cigar again and the dress molded into a suit, made out of the same sparkling material and the heels into dress shoes. He was clean too, even the spot behind his ears where his dirt collection had been. It was amazing.

"One last touch," his Ugly Demon-Uncle said and brought out a fat moustache. He stuck it on Dirt-Boy's face and grinned at him. "So no one will recognize you. Now you're all set to go."

"Do I have a horse?" Dirt-Boy asked excitedly, already imagining his triumphant entrance, riding a mighty steed.

"Even better!"

"What can be better than a horse?"

"A pig!"

The Ugly Demon-Uncle flicked his cigar again and a massive boar appeared beside them. It was so fat that it's belly nearly touched the ground and it glared at Dirt-Boy in a malicious way.

"Brilliant!" he said enthusiastically. "Let's go!"

"Not so fast," said the Ugly Demon-Uncle. "You gotta be back by midnight, hear me, boy? Midnight."

"Why midnight?"

"Cause that's your bed time. Now go!"

Dirt-Boy rode to the castle of the princess on his quite un-mighty steed and tripped when coming into the ballroom. Fortunately, he crashed into some girl and landed on her when he fell, so at least he landed on something soft. Unfortunately, that girl was the Royal Princess.

"Oh, I'm s-sorry!" he exclaimed, helping the princess up. "Will you dance with me?"

She shrugged. "I guess the night couldn't get any worse."

They danced all night, busting out all the moves. They danced the waltz, the YMCA, the Macarena, the tango and the nut bush. Then, when Dirt-Boy heard the clock start to chime 12, he fled, practically shoving the princess over in his hurry to get home in time for bed.

When his step-bros came home, they didn't suspect a thing, especially seeing as Dirt-Boy's clothes had reverted to their scraps and his body was covered in filth again. They were a bit mystified as to who the stranger at the ball was, but honestly it didn't bother them much, as they both got to dance with other beautiful girls.

The next night, the same thing happened. The step-bros left to the castle, leaving Dirt-Boy home alone. His Ugly Demon-Uncle appeared, beautified him and off he went to the ball again.

The princess and him danced again, complimenting each other's moves. He did the sprinkler, while she did the robot. And when the clock chimed 12, Dirt-Boy ran away again, making it in the time for bed.

The third night was the same, except that this time, when he was running down the stairs, he tripped and his moustache fell off. But he didn't notice, taking off instead upon his steed, who was busy trying to bite him.

Following him, the princess found the moustache, lying in a mud puddle at the bottom of the steps.

"Whoever fits this moustache, is the man I danced with!" she declared to all the couriers surrounding her. "I will find this man, and when I do, I shall marry him!"

The princess searched throughout the land, obviously starting at the furthest point and working her way back closer to home. She took so long that Dirt-Bot practically forgot about her, until she turned up on his doorstep, moustache in hand.

The older step-bro went first, putting the moustache on his upper lip, but it was too big for him, hanging over his mouth. The younger step-bro went next, but the moustache was too small, not covering enough of the skin between lip and nose.

"I'll go!" Dirt-Boy suggested, putting on the moustache before any one could stop him. It fitted!

The princess looked horrified. "You're the man! But you're a servant!"

"Don't let that stand in the way of our love," Dirt-Boy pleaded, going on his knees in front of the princess.

"I can't marry a servant!" she protested. "That's just unthinkable! Yuk! Nope, the wedding is off. Goodbye!"

The End

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I enjoyed writing the twisted one about Little Red Riding Hood, so I thought I'd do another twisted fairytale. Cinderella just came into my head, and yeah, this is the weird and odd result.