Shattered Illusions

Chapter 13

~Wren~

I wake up. I shoot up out of bed. Shit! I'm going to be late to class. I change into a pair of jeans, slip on a bra and hoodie, quickly brush through my hair and teeth, then sprinting out the door. I hate being late. People looking at you. The professor asking why or that look of disappointment as they re-explain what you missed. No matter how much rushing I do through campus I am late. I look at the closed door and decide I would rather not show up to class than walk in there right now.

I decide to go to my next class and wait so I'm not late again. I find an open chair and pull out my computer. I can get some homework done while I wait. I put in my earbuds and dive in. After about thrity mintues I lose interest and spend the rest of my time watching people going to and from classes. When the time comes I am the first one in class. I think to myself, I'm pathetic. I hope I don't make a habit of this.

-------------

I have started a few unhealthy habits over the past month or so. One is spending way too much time on my computer and phone. I just miss Austin so much. I wish he was here with me. I think things would be a lot easier with him here. I constantly feel like a part of me is missing. I walk around campus feeling a sense of loss everyday. I have also gotten in a bad habit of missing classes. I'm pretty sure I'm failing one or two by now. It's just if I'm late or don't have an assignment done I mentally talk myself out of going. The anxiety of what might happen keeps me from putting myself in that situation. I hate it but also can't bring myself to stop doing it.

I haven't made any real friends, except Dakotoh. There are a few people in my classes that I talk to but we don't hang out outside of the classroom. I spend most of my time in my dorm studying or on my computer. If I'm not in class or my dorm I am in the art studio painting.

The studio is my favorite place on campus. It's here that I feel the most at home. I give my unfinished piece one last glance before covering it up and moving it off to the side. I walk over to my locker as I untie my apron smock. I grab my bag and close the old paint splatered locker. As I go to leave Mrs. North approached me.

"Miss Doyle."

"Yes, Mrs. North?" I hesitate, she's never spoken to me outside of class.

"How is your painting coming along?" She smiles at me.

I always get nervous talking about my pieces, especially if they are unfinished. It takes everything in me to show a finished painting but the high of the praise I usually get pushes me through it.

"It's nearly finished."

"Great, I can't wait to see it. Will it tie in with the paintings you've already shown us in class?"

I bite my lip nervously. It wasn't intentional but for some reason everything I've done since I've been here has had a common feature. I can feel my cheeks warming. As I nod.

"Yes, I believe so."

"I can't wait to see it. Your work is being considered for the Winter Showcase. We think it might be our main art series for the show."

My heart starts to race and my mouth can't form words for a moment.

"Wow, thank you." Is all I manage to get out.

"You are doing great, Wren. I can't wait to see more from you."

She walks away and I leave in a daze of shock and disbelief.