Dealing With a Female (TF2 one-shot fanfic)

Through the Little Hours in the Morning...

"FFFUUUUUUUUUUUC--DGE!!" She shouted from her personal bathroom, waking up everyone in the RED base.

"Oh mein Gött..." Medic quickly shot out of bed, immediately getting into his uniform.

"Oh, so it's that time of the week again?" Scout hysterically asked as he poked his head out the door. "oh, great! I thought I was over an' done with these pro'lems with my Ma!"

Medic quickly walked to her door, ignoring Scout's remark, the things their female comrade needs under his arms as he carefully knocked on her door.

"WHO THE HELL IS IT?!" She shots in pure rage, swinging open the door. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT-- oh, hey Doc'. Aren't you early."

Medic blinked, frozen in place as he slowly held out what he figured his female comrade would need and will be craving.

"Oh, for me?" She carefully took the items. "You do realize I can get these myself."

Medic slowly backed away after she took them, not knowing when she will explode into cusses again.

Everyone of the other mercenaries were in uniform and ready to get breakfast, not realizing how early it is.

Paulie looked at them in confusion, then looked at the time.

"It's only four-fifteen in the morning." Paulie laughs. "Only less than two hours until the actual wake-up time."

Everyone but Engineer slowly backed into their rooms, careful to not enrage their female comrade somehow.

"I always wake up this early to prepare breakfast for everyone..." Engineer quickly walked past Paulie. "And, uh... mornin', Scavy."

Paulie looked at Engie in confusion for a moment, then quickly nodded after realizing her nickname is the shortened version of Scavenger. Paulie decided to get ready for the day, knowing how wide-eyed and awake she already is.

~TIME SKIP~

After two hours later, everyone began to slowly file in as they notice Paulie munching on her breakfast and some sweets that Medic carefully handed to her.

"Good morning!" Paulie beamed as she heard them enter, causing them to flinch as they tried to make their way to their seats. She looked at them in confusion, then asked, "What?"

The mercenaries didn't know when she will eventually change moods, so they bidded her good morning as they went to get their breakfasts.

"F**K!!" Paulie doubled over, falling out of her seat and holding her abdomen. "DAMN IT MOTHER NATURE WHY CAN'T YOU JUST HAVE MY PHONE NUMBER AND JUST TELL ME 'HEY, B**CH YOU AIN'T PREGGERS!' THEN F**KING SLAM THE DAMN RECEIVER ON ME?!"

Everyone hid behind Heavy, trembling as Paulie painfully got back up and made the decision to go to the bathroom.

"WHY THE F**K ARE YOU OVER THERE STARING AT ME?!" Paulie snapped at them. "EAT YOUR DAMN BREAKFAST BEFORE I SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROATS!! STARTING WITH THE FROG!!"

Spy hid further back as Paulie stormed past them, and out of the room.

~ANOTHER TIME SKIP~

"WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYONE?!" Paulie shouts as she entered the respawn room. "WHY THE HELL IS EVERYONE AVOIDING ME?! EVERYONE IS LATE NOW!!"

Everyone scrambled into the room, weapons ready as they waited for the Announcer to announce their battle.

"Uh, hey, Scavy..." Scout carefully greeted her.

"Oh, good, everyone is on time." Paulie beamed.

Everyone tried to calm down, still trembling from the incident that happened in the cafeteria.

Paulie looked at everyone in confusion, then shrugged as she went to pick out her weapons.

As she made her choices, everyone of the mercenaries huddled together to figure out how to keep her from attacking her own team.

Paulie hit her knee as she tried to reach for a weapon that was an easy reach.

"F**K MY LIFE!!" She angrily shouts, hopping on one side as she held her knee, and cussing all the curse words she knew, then finishing with, "MOTHER NATURE IS SUCH A REALLY BIG TW*T!!"

Everyone cringed as Paulie threw Medic's and Heavy's lockers across the room. Paulie came storming out, holding weapons she needed, used, and found effective enough.

"Who's goin' ta tell 'er?" Scout whispered to the others, only to be shoved towards the angry Paulie, nervously saying, "uh, hey there, again... Paulie..."

"What do you want?!" Paulie asked as calm as she possibly could.

"Uh... w-we ha-have heard..." Scout said, voice nearly breaking and studdering as he tried to find his words.

"WELL?!" Paulie aimed her Bowie knife at the speedster. "SPIT IT OUT!!"

"THE OTHER TEAM HAS BEEN TALKIN' SMACK 'BOUT YOU!!" Scout shouted as he ran back to hide behind Heavy.

Paulie had no expression as she was processing what her speeding companion had told her.

A/n: SUSPENSE!! WELL, anyways, this is part one of two of this one-shot. How will Paulie react to what one of her team mates had told her? Until next time!
~Goldine Yup'ik