Love Me, Mikayla

XVI

जुल्फ की घनी घनी घटाएं शान से ढलकी हुई हैं। ⁠♪

"It's my anger, not my love so that you love it," she answers in her sassy way, tipping her chin.

And I can confess so that the world may hear that I still love it. Her anger is lovely. Cute. Every time she glares at me, she makes me want to kiss her.

I can't help but smile. "Still, I love it." I shrug, caressing the back of her palm through my thumb.

"Pagal ho tum," she mumbles a complaint, shaking her head as if she doesn't like it. Maybe she really doesn't like it; me.

(You're crazy.)

And all of a sudden, a veil has fallen open on my mischievousness. She gives me a look that snatches all from my heart, leaving it hollow. It feels too real. Because it is her giving.

⁠♪ लहराता आंचल, है जैसे बादल

बाहों में भरी है जैसे चांदनी ⁠♪

She removes her hand from my shoulder and moves to leave but I don't let her. I keep holding onto her hand.

Maybe for her, it's simple. Truly simple. But for me, it's not. I just can't let her go.

⁠♪ रूप की चांदनी. . .⁠ ♪

I pulled her back, and this time, it was so sudden for her, that she ended up holding both my shoulders, almost hugging me.

She marvels at what just happened, sinking deep into my eyes. In hers, there's not only amazement at what I did but a realization, too, of why I did that.

Maybe I felt possessive.

"Maybe I am," I admit it like a hidden truth, and I feel my lips stretching once again into a small smile as I look into her eyes.

A lot of disapproval — that's what I find in her eyes. And it's for me. Every time I look into them, she reminds me of the past. She makes me feel like I've made a mistake by making her my wife.

Have I?

I haven't. It's not a mistake for me.

But it is, in her eyes.

And no matter what she says about my opinion or why I'm holding onto this relationship when the true color of it has started gaining existence, I won't let her go.

She may call me crazy over and over again but I've come to realize it's not a newfound obsession.

This emotion existed long ago. Just needed to be dug out. I wanted it to gain the surface and now when it is beginning to, I'm sure she finds it strange.

But it is intense.

I want to be with her. Stay with her. Live with her. I can't let my fingers uncurl and let her leave my clutch even if I begin to bleed. I don't care about it. I just care about being closer to her. I will not let even her shadow depart. The day I vowed, I decided.

"You'll regret this."

"Anything but this."

⁠♪ मैं अगर कहूं, "ये दिलकशी,

है नही कहीं, न होगी कभी।"