(1) Katnis Swan: Lost

Ch. 1- Gone

Bella P.O.V

I couldn't believe she's gone. My mother was gone...forever. I would never get to see her again. Never het to see her smile or hear her laugh and hug her. I will never get to tell her I loved her one last time.

I wipe away my fallen tears and look over at my sister Katnis. How she was taking the death of our mother? Your guess is as good as mine. She hasn't really shown any emotion about it.
She was forced to watch a man shot and murder our mother in cold blood before he shot himself. I don't think anyone could witness such a thing and not change. Katnis is only fifteen and already her life has changed.

"Katnis?" I reach over and touch her hand.

She turns her gaze onto me and her eyes are lifeless and yet she smiles at me,"Yes, Isabella?"

I hate being called by my full name but there is no way that I am going to correct her. She's been through enough. She doesn't need me jumping down her throat about a name.

"How are you holding up?" Stupid question. I wanted to slap myself for asking such a thing. She watched the murder of our mother and a man commit suicide. How do you think she's doing?

She smiles at me before taking.my hand in hers,"How are you holding up?" she ignores my question,"I know you miss her a lot." she says.

"I do. More than anything but I'm more worried about you, Kat."

She chuckled. She LITERALLY chuckled. I'm now very worried about my sisters mental state.

"Isabella, I'm fine. I miss mom, too, but I'm dealing with her loss just as you are." she says.

Lie. She's not dealing with it. She's trying to be strong for the both of us and I wish she wouldn't. She didn't shed not one tear at our mothers funeral or any day since. And that scares me. I've already lost my mother...I can't lose her too.

"Kat-"

"Bella, I'm deal with it. So stop asking questions and trust me." she says.

Fine.

"Okay. I believe you, Kat." I stated.

She gently squeezed my hand before letting it go and turning her attention back towards the window.

Mom, if you can hear me, please look out for Katnis. She's not taking your death to well and I fear that I may lose her, too.

Forks.

We'd finally landed in Forks and were now exiting the plane and heading inside the airport,"Do you think Dad has gray hair yet? I didn't notice at the funeral." Katnis questioned.

I nod my head,"Yeah, he does. A lot." I stated.

"I bet he looks like Billy Bob Thorton now." she chuckles.

I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped my lips. Katnis did always know how to make someone laugh or lighten up a room. She was a lot like mom that way. Always smiling, seeing the best in people and situations. They always seemed to know when to step up to make everyone happy.

"I'm sure you're right about that." I say.

"School starts tomorrow so, I guess we better get ready for the Newbies Chatter."

Newbie Chatter is her way of saying everyone will be talking about us and wondering where we're from and why we moved to such a small town.

"Maybe we shouldn't go to school tomorrow, Katnisnis." I suggested.

She looked at me with curiosity,"Why not?"

"We just lost our mother, Katnis. I don't think surrounding ourselves with new people so soon is a good idea. We need time to adjust to our new home." I stated as we walked into the building.

"One, these people aren't really that new to us. We've been coming here every summer for the last five years. Second, I think surrounding ourselves with new people, as soon as possible, is a great idea. You can't heal if you continue to hide from people. In order for you to heal you have to at least try and make things as normal as possible." she says.

Why is she saying You instead of We? We both just lost our mother, not just me.

"I know that but -"

"There's Dad." she says.

I look up to see our dad standing with his hands tucked in his pockets. His eyes looked swollen as if he'd recently been crying. I felt for our father. He loved our mother more than anything. Even after they split up he still loved her. News of her death hit him hard and I could see that a part of him died with her.

"Hey, dad." I dripped my bad at my feet and wrapped my arms around my fathers middle, burying.my face in his shirt. I felt a tingling in my nose which lets me know that tears will follow close behind so, I pulled away and wiped at them,"I'm sorry." I sniffed.

"You don't have to apologize, Bella, for missing your mother." he choked at the end.

I nod at him,"I just really miss her." I stated.

He kisses my hair and hugs me once more,"I know, so do I." he says.

"What am I, a virus? I don't get a hug?" Katnis says from behind.

I turn around to find her glaring at us playfully,"Sorry." I said before pulling away from dad and stepping aside.

Dad moved to stand before her. He lifted his hands to her cheeks and just looked at her. He was also concerned about his youngest child. He too noticed that she hadn't cried at the funeral nor expressed any emotion expected from someone who watched their loved one get murdered and someone commit suicide. She acted the total opposite. She was always happy, cheerful and calm. You never would have guessed that we'd lost our mother three weeks ago.

"Hey, dad." she says, smiling up at him.

Dad gazed into her eyes, searching for any other emotion other than cheerfulness but came up empty,"Hey, Kat." he says.

"Dad, it's Katnis." she says.

Dad ignored her correction and pulled her into his arms. I watched as my father held onto.my sister as if she were the only thing keeping him alive. It wasn't until I saw his shoulders shaking that I realized that my father had begun to cry. Katnis wrapped her arms around his neck and buried herself into his embrace, comforting him.

It was hard to see my father cry. He is the strongest man I know so, to witness him crying was not something I was use to. Our father always hid his hurt well but the death of our mother was too much for him to bare.

"It's okay, dad, let it out." she says, patting his back.

I swear to you that my sister has to be the strongest man or woman I've ever met. Here she is comforting our father, me on numerous occasions the, when she is the one everyone is worried about. She's the one who witnessed a horrific event and yet she's the one doing the comforting instead being comforted.

Our father finally pulled away, wiping away his fallen tears,"I'm sorry." he says.

Katnis takes his hand,"Don't be, dad. You miss mom, I understand that." she says before kissing his cheek.

"Thank you." he says.

"Dad?" she says.

"Yes, Katnis?"

"Can you turn on your siren on our way home?" she asked him.

He smiles down at her and nods,"Sure, sweetie." he says, wrapping his arms around the both of us.

Kat leaned her head onto his shoulder and sighed,"Lets go home." she says.

True to his word dad turned on the siren and left it on during the entire ride home.