new girl - leah williamson

chapter 23: the final pt 2

i stand in the tunnel, the england crest in my hand. leah is stood behind me, then mary.
i zip up my jacket, trying to do anything to distract me from the task ahead.
captaining england.
my heart is pulsing through my chest at a rapid rate, my eyes scanning over to the captain stood next to me, and the germany squad behind her. i tap my thumb to each finger, over and over trying to keep the nerves down.
come on soph.
it's forty-five minutes, then leah's taking over.
only forty-five minutes.
leah takes my hand, the one that i was previously tapping. she gives it a gently squeeze, leaning her body closer to mine and whispering

"come on soph, it will be fine. just do what you do best. block it all out. " she whispers into my ear. i nod.
but this time i cant.
im trying,
but i can't block out the feelings.
i didn't play well in training yesterday, even though sarina and leah insist i did.
i'm not convinced, meaning my confidence is at a low. so i can't be cocky, i can't block it all out.

the music starts and we walk out the tunnel, my team following behind me. i force a smile onto my face, even though i'm not feeling happy right now.
well i am, but i'm not.
i feel proud, pride for my country, but the nerves are overtaking that.
i've done this before, winning the youth euros, not to even mention the youth world cup.
why am i so nervous?

it's going to be hard, but im going to have to block out the feeling for leah, not even letting them in at half time. not until the full time whistle has blown.
just ignore, ignore, ignore.
atleast, try to.

i lead us out, standing in a line, singing the national anthem. one hand still holding the white pennant, my other hand on leah's back.
i move my hand lower, trying anything to get my cockiness back. i watch as her cheeks flush scarlet, and she death glares me.
mission accomplished.
im begging no one's camera is that good to zoom in and see my hand, let's hope not.

i get everyone into a huddle, ready to kick off.

"right girls, don't let the pressure get to you. play the football you know you can play. be confident on the ball and if you're under pressure, lob it up the feild to me.
leah?" i say, turning to leah for her to say something.

"okay girls, this is what we've been training for, all the camps leading up to this. like soph said, play the football you know you can play.
we have the chance to make every little girl inspired. take it and let's do this.
come on, three, two, one..."

"ENGLAND" we shout in unison 

i stand on the halfway line, ready for their kick off. i adjust the captains armband, it being a bit tight around my arm, seeing as my biceps are bigger than leah's. i'll make sure i tell her that.
sophia stop.
stop thinking about leah.
get your head in the game.
i tighten my ponytail, and straighten my headband.
as soon as the whistle blows i press, hearing the stadium cheer us on.

as soon as i get the ball, my head is up, scanning for some space. having no luck, i release the ball back to our defense, to leah.
she is talented, her vision of the game better than anyone i know. sometimes, maybe her choices aren't like mine, so i don't think she's as good, but i know she's amazing. she just has a different style to me.
in all honesty, i think she's massively underrated.

the ball goes out for our throw, and i signal, shouting lucy for her to give it to me. i get a harsh shove in my back as i make the run

"the fuck is wrong with you?!" i say, pushing them back before turning around again.
the ref dismisses it, and the ball lands at my feet from lucy's throw. i immediately turn, giving the ball over to my left foot, right as my right foot gets booted. i loose my footing, falling onto my stomach.