Dummies' Guide to Being a Superhero (Editing)

One: Chillin' Like a Villain

That's when Gretal noticed there was only two robbers left, and they were circling them. The others were sprawled all over the floor, Gretal not sure if they were dead or unconscious. One of the remaining burglars with a deep and raspy voice chuckled.

"Ah, Electric, seems like you found yourself a sidekick."

Gretal raked her brain. She seen many reports on Electric and there was never a sidekick - oh, shit, I'm his sidekick.

Gretal started, "I'm not his-"

Electric laughed, blue electricity zapping from his fingertips. "She was a hard find, but it was worth it." Electric looked back at her. Then he whispered, "I need you to fight."

"Figured that already," she mumbled in reply.

"What's the matter, Electric?" Robber Number One snickered. "Didn't you train your little sidekick?"

Gretal snapped. What's up with men these days? Little girl? Little sidekick? These dumb-fucks don't know who they're messing with. Are they just so sexist they don't  realize there's plenty of women in the world who can easily kick their asses?  "Look, jackass, why don't you give me that metal pole of yours so I can shove it up your-"

"Feisty? I like it." Robber Number One laughed. "Electric, you sure have a keeper."

Electric rolled his eyes. "Less talking, more fighting." He charged, kicking at the robber's feet and punching him in the face, electric sparks flying.

Robber Number Two charged at Gretal. The only fighting she actually did was karate when she was eight, which didn't really end well. While the ass-hat tried to tackle her, she dodged and stepped behind him. And on instinct she brought up her knee and it connected with the robber's baby maker. The man groaned, clutching his crotch like it was the only thing worth saving.

"Hey, chick!"

Gretal looked up and Electric threw the metal pole. With her arm in the air, she caught it and brought it down hard on the robber's back. It was a few hits and smacks later that both robbers layed unconscious.

"I'll give it to them," Electric nodded, "they had guts."

Gretal glanced around. "Well, one probably doesn't even have balls anymore."

Electric smiled. "Hey, kid, sorry for not protecting you well enough. Not much of a superhero anymore, am I?"

Gretal sighed, ignoring him and causing him to give her a look of pure annoyance. "Who knows where my mom is?"

Electric placed a hand on her shoulder. "Look, thanks for the help. Sorry about your mom, but there's a chance she's outside with the others. But thank you. And matter of fact, I wouldn't mind having a partner on the go-"

"You fucking pervert-"

"I mean sidekick."

Gretal laughed in embarrasment. "Right, right. Go on."

"If you're interested . . ." Electric stuck out his blue-gloved hand and placed a crumbled paper in her pale ones.

Gretal raised an eyebrow. "Do you always give your address to random strangers?"

Electric shrugged. "Not most of the time."

"Riiigghht."

"Just consider it, what's-your-face."

She glared at him. "Its Gretal."

"Electric."

"I already knew that--"