This is just a bunch of things I heard people say irl + some random stuff I've said before that I thought was worth sharing.
(I'll add context for some of them just so they make more sense)
»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»
"When you're all failing and falling off stage, I will have the last laugh." - my Band Director
"How do doors work again?" - an irl friend
"Is this arson?" - my little brother while playing Fortnight
"YOUR GETTING TOUCHED TONIGHT!" - my sister also while playing Fortnight
"I hate you, with kindness and love and appreciation and understanding." - an irl friend of mine who is very fruity but somehow also straight.
"I like big black men." - my best friend
"Alright you queers, listen up!" - me trying to get the attention of my choir class
"I hate that more than I hate my brother, and I would give my brother up for a pack of Doritos and a Monster." - fruity friend
"I'm going to assault your mother." - the twin brother of my fruity friend.
"Your dad's cute." - also my best friend
"I'm going to eat your family." - me
"Ha, you suck at this! Wait I know why- it's because you're a woman." - one of my fellow nerd friends when I lost twice in a row against him in Magic the Gathering.
"The hell are you listening too? That sounds like dog shit." "Yeah well your face looks like dog shit but I never say anything." - an exchange I had with the prick who has a locker next to me and heard me listening to All Around the World by Mac Miller.
"Sorry, I'm gonna have stage four cancer tomorrow so I won't be here." - fruity friend when we were told we'd be having a test the next day.
"I'm giving you up for adoption." - me to my sister when she came into my bedroom blaring Taylor Swift.
Me:"See, nobody ever believes me."
My sister:"What, that I'm slow?"
Me:"Exactly, because I'm bright."
My sister:"Bright white." - we were talking about my sister and her intelligence and so she insulted the fact that I'm pale and how I'm the only person in my family that is so caucasian I only sun burn, I don't tan.
"If you're not forklift certified, you get no bitches." - some random person on my bus
"First you wanted to leave now your making out, what the sigma?!" - my sister while reading BL manga
Me: "If you get in the pool I'll put on Texas Hold Um!"
My sister: "Anything for Beyonce!!"
(I'll probably add more sometime in the future.)
