Solitude - Between Charm and Sorrow

Prologue

And everywhere my eyes dart to it is nothing. Nothing more to it than the beige walls of the melancholic classroom's walls, as my inner cries of pity echo off of those walls. And the talk of the class, alas, i hear, for Latin never has been their thing, nor my thing, but i had thought otherwise in utter foolishness just a mere year ago.

With bowed heads and loose lips that could've sunk many ships in the day, they sat not here in the classroom, but in their imagination everywhere else. 

There was an air of anticipation, as the carefully selected words of the professor bore down upon their psyche. You could've examined and analysed the small variety of expressions and found the same result of displeasure and in their eyes, that had lost their glint long ago, you couldn't see a future of light. For these children knew nothing else, for they had been seeing the world and the outwardly matters only.

In an instant Sarah could feel the atmosphere changing, stiff joints were stretched and exercise books of no particular importance were hastily thrown onto the floor. With reprimanding final words the teacher concluded the lesson and rushed out the door, particularly glad to have gotten through with this lesson evidently. 

"Ms. Rimoris, would you-...", Sarah's head jolted towards the man, whom she hadn't noticed to be in such close proximity, "...mind accompanying me to the headmaster's office." The bangs lying volumeless on his forehead and the neatly combed back of his hair demanded, for a nick of time, her whole attention, as they seemed strangely unproportional to the rest of his face. Upon closer inspection of the speaker, she realized, that he was indeed quite unknown to her. However reluctantly, she inquired: "Who am I speaking with?" He was taken aback, as if he himself knew little of his identity: "I'm the assistant secretary, it's only been a few days since I've been hired if you haven't seen me around yet", he beamed confidently at her, "You'd never guess how busy it gets!"

Sarah rose from her seat, not having processed the entirety of this obscure conversation yet, absent-mindedly following the assistant secretary through the halls. His gait oddly long and yet quite the easy gait of an athlete. The arms swung loosely by his side, he was not fast. No not by all means, but there was a certain determination radiating from every step he took. 

Sarah's head was racing with thoughts, surely this could not because of misbehaviour? And surely not because of her academical performance, for she hadn't been behind her studies and her report card had been excellent. Occupied with ever-worsening thoughts, the reality of her situation sunk in. There had to be a personal reason, she felt her pulse quicken at the thought of what was waiting to confront her. Would it be the headmaster that held her hand and consoled her or would he leave her be, would it be the assistant, who offered words of superficial encouragement as her world shattered in a thousand pieces?And would they sit passively, each in their own mind consumed with the same thought, attributing nothing successful to her, to her future? It had to be something of great gravitas, so much she couldn't dispute.

Without taking notice her pace, too, quickened as they tracked down their prey. 

In the corridor leading to the office, there was an ornate mirror situated right across the entryway, and that was Sarah's favorite object in the school. It was a constant in her ever-changing life, everytime she went so secretary's office or the headmaster's she'd take a quick glimpse of herself. She'd fix her brunette hair, straighten her top, that had probably been sewed with an great eye for detail by her father, or practice a smile for the camera. The opportunity of seeing her joy or her sorrow reflected to the outside, the ability to visually distinguish her feelings from eachother gave her a sense of control.

In the quiet office, sunlight streaming through the windows, the secretary relaxed in her chair, a book lying open beside her. Her eyes, a vibrant green, sparkled with curiosity, as if holding secrets untold. 

Filled with great anticipaticion Sarah made to take a glance at herself.

In vain, for her companion positioned himself right in front of the mirror, and ushered her in inpatiently. And thus concludes the last glimpse of it.

-

Rooted to the spot, Sarah took in the joyful faces of her parents. Her mother was dressed in corporate fashion with an impeccably sleek updo, her fine handbag was leaned against the rather wobbly leg of the headmaster's chair, in great danger of tipping over and spilling its content. Across her, from the hastily dried yet still wet hair silently dropping at uneven intervalls on his nape, Sarah deduced that her father had just got out of the pool. Swimming had been his passion, for as long as she could remember. Many a summer day in her childhood had been spent at some body of water, though no amount of training could've enabled her to keep up with her father. So her attention was seized by Mr. Seizman, who had been grinning from ear to ear since she had entered the room, his eyes were fixated on her, but for Sarah they pierced right through her. Such was the extent of his ingenuity. 

Relief and at a later point in time confusion came up in her. Fortunately her calls for a resolution weren't left unanswered for long.

"You'd want to know why we have called you here", and without waiting for an answer, the headmaster continued: "We received very exciting news for you!" Trainquility washed over the room, it was if time had stopped. Sarah began feverishly recalling any and every event, that could've been the reason for all this. And even if she had won a competition, why did her parents come to the office? The stuck-on smile didn't falter even for just a moment, and then Sarah noticed something quite curious. With folded hands, in the lap for her mother and behind the head for her father, they waited, expectantly. Supposing that this was her turn to speak, she answered: "Which news, sir?" It came out rather meekly and didn't have quite the effect. She let her eyes wander over the room, searching for clues on what this was supposed to be. "You've been accepted to Solitude Academy!" What! The school she had applied to, hoping that it would change her life's trajectory? Sarah panicked, searching for approval from her parents, they didn't have the financial means to cover such a tuition. Instead of a lovely embrace or tender words spoken in a proud tone, she was met with passiveness. Utter and complete silence. The only one in the room whom the growing disdain and scowling didn't affect, was almost falling off his chair unable to contain his excitement. As to why, Sarah never understood.

 "with a full scholarship, a first for the highly prestigious academy!"he went on, as if no time had passed, and maybe for him there was always an unburdened tomorrow. In that moment the worries vanished, she felt pure joy. Smiles were exchanged between the parents and the daughter. 

The crisp spring air accompanied the trio to their doorstep.

*Please let me know of any mistakes, as English is not my first language. Thank you for reading my work!