"Siguro, tigang na tigang ka na." Wala pa rin namang preno ang bibig ni Andy. Muli na naman akong napailing.
"I am in love with Rafaelle, Andy. This isn't just about sex." Sabi ko sa kanya sabay ngiti. Tumawa si Andy, ako naman ay nagpasya nang bumalik sa loob ng summer house para mapgpahinga. It's time to give the family their own moment. I love Ruel's little family, and I know they love me too, but I also know how much they value their moments together and as I walk inside the house, I looked back at them. This time Andy already joined her family. Ruel carried Nana on his arms. Inabot niya si Andy and he made sure that the two of his most precious is in his arms. This is the life that suits Ruel and I couldn't help but wonder when it's gonna be my turn. I sighed and closed the door.
Soon. I know its coming soon and I am looking forward to it.
xxxx
Yaffa's
"WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?" Kulang ang sabihing nagulat ako nang makita kong nasa loob ng apartment ko si Santi. He was just sitting comfortably in the couch, munching on his popcorn while watching something on Netflix. Gabi na ako nakauwi noon at ang tanging balak ko lang sana ay ang mahiga na at matulog. I am so tired because of this collection. Malapit na ang launching ng Summer Collection ng Nandiandra's – it is my brand and I named it after the most important woman in my life.
I established Nandiandra's two years ago. Sa Spain ako nagsimula. Nang magkaroon ako ng break sa Spain ay sinamantala ko ang lahat ng iyon. I gained enough money and popularity, lumipad ako ng New York and looked for my friends. Doon namin sinimulan ang tunay na laban. While I was fighting for my name and my brand, I have Felipe on the side. Inaayos namin ang lahat sa relasyon naming dalawa. He said that he wants this to work, I do too. Bumalik kami sa simula, but this time, we are doing everything right – I think. We are dating, iyong dating na walang kasamang sex. We kiss, we make out but if things get heated, siya pa mismo ang umiiwas at lumalayo. I understand him. He once told me that he wants me to see that this has nothing to do with physical attraction. That he is willing to wait for me, no matter how long it takes.
Kung minsan ay napapatigil talaga ako at naiisip kong unfair na naman ako sa kanya. Isa sa inaayos naming dalawa ang communication sa pagitan naming. I used to hide everything from him, now, we both wanted an open communication. Palagi kong sinasabi sa sarili ko na wala akong dapat ikahiya kay Felipe. Mahal niya ako, mahal ko siya at tatanggapin naming lahat sa isa't isa. I once had the courage to ask him kung naiinip na siya. It was just a phone call. I cannot see his face and maybe he could even fake the tone of his voice, but that night when I asked him, and he said no, hindi ako naiinip, Rafaelle, I know that he was being truthful and all I could feel was gratefulness. I guess, our time is really coming.
It pays to be patient. Hinayaan ko na ang universe ang umayos sa aming dalawa. Kasabay noon, napansin ko ring unti – unti naaayos ang pamilya ko.
I was able to finally tell my mother everything about my feelings. I used to gaslight myself a lot. Pinaniniwala ko ang sarili ko sa mga bagay na hindi ko kailangan, na hindi mahalaga and nararamdaman ko. I used to tell myself that I could always set aside my own needs because other people might have some more important needs. I know that it's not right. Mama made me feel that everything is okay and that all my feelings are valid. It took me a while, but I have accepted every help that come from my family. Sabi nga ni Santi sa akin, hindi ako superhero, hindi ko kayang iligtas ang lahat ng tao. Nasanay kasi akong maging malakas para kay Mama na hindi ko na iniisip ang sarili ko.
"Anong ginagawa mo rito?" Ulit ko pa nang hindi sumagot ang kapatid ko. Magkasundo naman na kami ngayon. Hindi na tulad noon na lagi na lang kaming nagbabangayan at nag – aasaran. Hindi na rin niya ipinamumukha sa akin na sampid ako sa pamilya. I couldn 't believe that I'll end up liking this brother of mine too much. Akala ko ay si Kuya Ross ang magiging paborito kong kapatid, but now it's Santi. He's such a dork sometimes, tulad ngayon, wala man lang siyang pasabi. Balak ko pa namang umalis bukas. I was thinking of travelling to Malta. Felipe is there with his brother's family. It's also his birthday this weekend and I really wanted to surprise him. Also, I was thinking that maybe we could make it official now.
Epilogo: Happy Birthday, Felipe
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