The Pursuit of Shin Ryujin || Ryeji ff

- 5

The lake was frozen and so was Yeji. She was sitting on the pier, legs dangling off as the cold seeped into her bones. After the initial cold had set in, her body seemed to go numb and she didn't care much for the cold anymore.

Or maybe she was too distracted by her own thoughts to pay attention to her icy flesh.

The winter air had frosted over the insides of her lungs, but did little to ease her hyperventilation. She was sure her lips were blue to match her fingers and toes. She feared moving in case she broke one of her stiff, frozen bones.

She had thought of everything she wanted to say to Ryujin, but as soon as she her footsteps on the wooden planks, her mind went blank. Her back was towards her but she could feel her eyes on her. Her heart was racing a-mile-a-minute, pumping fresh, hot blood through her veins.

She doesn't remember how long Ryujin stood behind her, only that she eventually said, "Hey."

Yeji wanted to laugh at the simplicity of it all. For three years, she had imagined what this meeting would be like. Most involved the two running towards each other, only to embrace as lovers after whispered confession. Some had started with fighting and verbal spats. But never did she think they'd start off with that.

Instead, she mumbles out, "Hey."

"We didn't really get a chance to talk at the party." Ryujin says and Yeji can still recognise the nervous titters in her speech like they were her own, "Not after..."

"After I had stormed out like a psycho?" Yeji finished for her, grimacing at her behaviour. She should have handled that more tactfully, like an adult. Instead, she threw a tantrum like toddler.

Ryujin didn't say anything. What could you say, after all? The situation was already so muddled.

"You love him." Yeji says suddenly, thinking of the man his smug smirk. It's not a question, more of a statement. But she wouldn't admit that some part of her ached for Ryujin to deny this claim.

But Yeji was destined to suffer, so Ryujin answered, "I do."

Yeji could hear the smile in her voice and that sickened her even more. To know that someone else could make Ryujin so happy, when that job used to belong to her, made her insides roll. But she cherished the thought that at least she was happy.

"Does he make you happy?" She asked, eyes still trained on the frozen lake. She already knew the answer, but she needed to hear it from her.

"More than I thought possible."

It's the wistful tone that Ryujin adopts which sends Yeji into silence. She wondered if Ryujin ever talked about her that way. If she ever loved her as strongly as she loved this man.

"You're still in love with me," Ryujin asked, softly, as to not frighten Yeji, "aren't you?"

Yeji clenched her jaw so tight she'd feared she had broken it. Still, her heart swelled as she answered through gritted teeth, "How could I fall out of love with someone like you?"

Ryujin scoffed, "Very easily. Have you forgotten what I did to you? I ruined our relationship because I let fame get to my head. I pushed you away because I honestly thought I was better than you - that I deserved better than you!"

"You weren't wrong." Yeji says, rising to her feet. Her knees cracked when she stood to her full height but she doesn't notice. What had her attention was Ryujin. She seemed even more beautiful now, eyes blazing with anger and her hair ruffled in the breeze. Yeji notes that she had grown several inches, now staring down at Ryujin.

"Yes, I was! Yeji, I was wrong. I hate myself for what I did to you. Giselle told me how you shut down after we broke up. That you wouldn't eat, that you didn't get out of bed most days, that you were hanging around with criminals and getting arrested every other day. I ruined you, Yeji! I can never forgive myself for that and neither should you!"