Loopty: Unfortunately, we neglected to test the machine on the poor, like we usually do. We were too sure of our own genius! But the machine was accidentally set FORWARD!
The two men stroll into the chamber and close the metal door. A lever next to the door labeled "YOUNG" and "OLD" is set to "OLD" at the bottom.
Loopty: By the time we managed to get out... it was too late! At least... for me!
The two men struggle to open the door, pounding on it. Both of them rapidly shrivel up and age. Loopty stares in horror at his shriveling hands. Lyle grows old and fat and slides to the floor. Loopty clutches at his chest as he suffers a heart attack, then falls dead to the ground, his leg twitching. A man opens the door, sees the two men, and motions for doctors to come in. They put a stethoscope over Loopty's heart, and they shake their heads somberly. A woman puts an oxygen mask over Lyle's nose and mouth. Loopty's body is zipped shut in a body bag.
Loopty: Now, that evil son of a bitch is going to take over the empire WE BUILT TOGETHER! Without me to share it with, he'll make all the goddamn money in the world and become the fourth trillionaire... and get ALL the credit!
Scene cuts to Lyle laughing evilly as piles of money rain down on him.
[Back to I.M.P. office.]
Blitzo: Ehhh, that's not really evil.
Loopty: It's evil towards meeee!
Moxxie, still stuck under the rubble. He weakly reaches his hand out for help.]
Moxxie: Everything... is going... dark--
Loopty: Now, get your crimson asses up above and send that heartless, no-good son of a bitch to Hell, where he belongs!
Blitzo: Eh, y- y- y- You do know, Poopty--
Loopty: Looooptyyyy!
Blitzo: Of course! Of course... If we do kill him, though, and he ends up down here... y'know, you will be stuck with him. Forever.
Loopty: Oh, trust me...
Loopty summons an array of weapons from his back on a series of mechanical armatures: a pistol, a rifle, a missile launcher, and a circular saw blade.
Loopty: I'm counting on it.
Moxxie: That's kinda hot!
Everyone glances at Moxxie.
/////
I.M.P. crew wearing wigs and disguises on a tour bus. Moxxie looks through binoculars at Lyle's mansion. Y/N was wearing sunglasses and Loona was in her human form.
Loona: Gee! I wonder whose house this is.
Tour Guide: And to your right is the home of famous inventor, Lyle Lipton!
The crowd "oohs" and takes pictures with their cell phones. Blitzo removes his sunglasses, wearing a clown wig.
Blitzo: Let's do it, gang!
Loona: Really, right here? In front of all these people?
All three Imps pull out their weapons: Blitzo a flintlock pistol, Moxxie an assault rifle and Millie two sharp swords. The Imps jump over a fence and land in poses.
Millie: Let's kill this rich guy!
The Imps race over toward the windows. Loona face palmed.
Tour Guide: And here you'll find three tacky stalkers about to attempt a murder! Things like this could happen to famous people all the time!
YOU ARE READING
Helluva Guy (Helluva Boss x Autisic reader.)
AdventureBlitz, a classic demon Imp, sets out to run his own small assassin business with his weapons specialist Moxxie, his bruiser Millie, and his receptionist hellhound Loona. Together, they attempt to survive each other while running a start-up in Hell.
C.H.E.R.U.B
Start from the beginning
