Metal Heart [ Jikook ]

Chapter 10

"Min Yoongi." Seokjin said; and maybe he should have started out another way, because Stop me from doing Min Yoongi didn't sound like a normal situation, didn't sound like something Seokjin should have been saying-- even if the words weren't direct.

"Min Yoongi? Who's that? Is he, like, after you or something?" Taehyung asked. Seokjin almost wanted to laugh at the confusion he'd caused, almost wanted to laugh at all of this-- another person, as if. Honestly, what was he thinking? What kind of wreck was he, before Christmas, that he wanted to build another person? Another few years of frustration, another few years of tears and hair-pulling; Seokjin was surprised he didn't have a bald spot with the amount of his hair he'd ripped out.

"No, he's-- he's another idea. I have another idea for a new person and I don't think it's a good idea to build another person." Seokjin said. He bit down on the inside of his cheek, waiting for Taehyung to reply, to react to this new idea, this new thought. There were a few moments of dead silence as Seokjin waited, and then Taehyung was making a noise, kind of like he'd guessed this was coming, or maybe that he understood.

"Ideas come and go, hyung-- why do you think you shouldn't build him? Was the stress for Jimin too much?" Taehyung asked. The noise in the background had all but faded, and Seokjin thought Taehyung might have traveled to another room in order to talk to Seokjin without a lot of loud noise, to be able to hear the older properly. Seokjin shrugged; but he remembered he was over the phone, and he actually had to speak.

"A little bit, I guess. I'm not sure-- I just don't think I want to build him. I mean, I do, but I shouldn't. Just-- distract me a little bit, okay? How are you?" Seokjin asked. Taehyung was one of those people that actually listened when he was asked to do something like that-- to ignore a problem and help someone else ignore a problem, too. Seokjin had always appreciated having Taehyung around; he liked when people didn't push his problems, let them work out by themselves-- especially when the problem was as something as this.

"Okay, hyung! I'm doing pretty well-- Hoseok and I have gotten together recently." Taehyung said, and Seokjin was a little shocked at that. Taehyung and Hoseok had been such a thing for years-- that special kind of friendship thing, and Seokjin thought they would never realize their feeling for one another. He smiled at the thought; the two of the had been so content with having on-the-low crushes on each other that they didn't mind being best friends.

(Seokjin wished he could completely feel this way for Jungkook.)

"That's great! When did the two of you get together?" Seokjin asked, and he listened to Taehyung's story of his Christmas party, how he'd eaten a million mints and cried a little bit over a thought that he wouldn't explain to Seokjin, how Hoseok had taken care of him and kissed him and demanded they be boyfriends-- no questions asked (until Taehyung complained about it). Seokjin tried not to laugh too loud through the story, but it was difficult; it seemed like such a Taehyung and Hoseok way to get together that it was hard not to burst in laughter.

"I think Jungkook and Jimin are doing really well, too. Have you talked to them at all?" Taehyung asked. He didn't know. Nobody knew except for Seokjin himself; he thought keeping his feelings for Jungkook to himself was the best. That way, there was no pity from someone else, no one to call him and idiot for making Jungkook a robot instead of confessing to Jungkook himself. (Though, at this point, he probably needed somebody like that.)

"Yeah, I just talked to them a few hours ago. Jungkook sounded really happy-- I'm glad he and Jimin are doing well." Seokjin said, but there was a dead smile on his face at the words. He tried his hardest to make it real, didn't want to be so fake about happiness, but the thought killed him; Jungkook in someone else's arms. And the fact that it was his own fault made him want to die, made him want to freak out and jump off the nearest building.

(He knew he would never.)

"Did Jimin tell you the two of them had kissed already? I think they're a thing now-- Jimin's not sure, but it's really easy to tell Jungkook likes him. You did really well, hyung, I've never seen Jungkook like someone as much-- except for you, maybe." Taehyung said; Seokjin's heart lifted just a little at that. He liked the thought of Jungkook always looking up to him-- which Taehyung had mentioned before, when he said something to Seokjin about Jungkook liking Jimin a few months back. He said he figured Jungkook would fall in love with Jimin; but he would always love Seokjin more. It was such a pretty thought; Seokjin's fake smile shifted real.

"I'm really happy for them." Seokjin said. It wasn't a lie, it was just a sad truth. He was really happy Jimin and Jungkook were together; he wanted them to be together. He was just also kind of hurt that he'd decided to break his heart in order for Jungkook to be happy, for him to be in love. (But that was love, right? Seokjin wondered. Love was wanting the person one was in love with to be happy, even if it included breaking one's own heart.)

"I am, too." Taehyung said. Seokjin was sure he was going to say something else, but he shrieked very suddenly instead, making Seokjin jump in surprise. There was a chuckle from a voice that wasn't as deep as Taehyung's, and then Taehyung saying-- "Hoseok! You asshole, you scared me! I'm talking o Jin-hyung.... Yeah-- hey, hyung? Hoseok wants to talk to you, is that okay?"

"Yeah, that's fine!" Seokjin said. He and Hoseok had been getting closer and closer over the months, as Seokjin hadn't known Hoseok initially; he and Jungkook had both met Hoseok through Taehyung. Hoseok's voice flooded through the phone with a tone almost as happy as Taehyung's had been, "Hey, hyung."

"Hi." Seokjin said, smile bleeding into his voice. He asked Hoseok some of the same question he'd asked Taehyung-- "How are you?" and "How's your Christmas been so far?" He got simple answers, but they were also very detailed; Hoseok had a special way of answering things, often bringing more questions to Seokjin's mind and therefore keeping a conversation going. Seokjin could talk to Hoseok for hours about the same topic and never get bored.

"Taehyung and I are moving right now, actually-- he and I decided to get an apartment a few blocks away from the college. We thought it would be really fun with both of us." Hoseok said. Seokjin remembered, very briefly, when Jungkook had called him crying about his home, about not having money-- how he thought about moving into an apartment himself. Seokjin wanted to encourage him to, but he knew how attached Jungkook was to his own home, and he didn't want Jungkook to have to leave it behind. (He was so happy Jungkook had the parents that he did; they helped him more than Seokjin ever could.)

"Oh-- I hope I'm not interrupting too much." Seokjin said.

"Oh, no. We were just packing up a little bit, but we both needed a break. We're throwing a little going-away party with our roommates; the two of them are going to move in together." Hoseok said. There was a loud noise in the background, another shriek, and then Hoseok was laughing. "Taehyung knocked something over-- he's prone to doing that."

"Yeah," Seokjin said, his voice a soft echo through the phone. He cleared his throat softly, sat up a little straighter in bed, "Well, I'll let you get back to packing. Make sure one of you calls me when you move into the new apartment, okay? I'd like to know what it's like."

"Okay! You should come visit when you come back-- we'll be moved in by next week, I think." Hoseok said. "Bye, hyung! I'll talk to you soon! If I don't get to talk to you tomorrow, Merry Christmas! Taehyung says the same."

"Merry Christmas, Hoseok! Bye!" Seokjin said; and then he hung up, placed his phone on his nightstand. He sat in bed for a few moments blankly, and then he moved, picked up his pencil and his notebook. He flipped to the page behind Min Yoongi, and he wrote a quick note: Min Yoongi will be twenty-four years old.

/

A/N: Honestly, I thought I was super subtle about it at the beginning, but like-- you were all right; Seokjin's in love with Jungkook. This is a clear sign that I need to work on my hidden messages and such haha