She had never thought that she'd ever be sending any sort of messages to a celebrity, it was just strange for her. Even if she was a fan she'd never truly go out her way to send a celeb a personalised message.
"What are you typing?" Charisse asked nosily watching Vanessa's thumb play over the letters as she struggled with what she wanted to type.
"Nothing, yet" she sighed nervously and locked her phone, placing it down beside her on the carpet. "I just don't know why I always do stuff like this" Vanessa continued, clearly blaming herself for self sabotaging situations like this.
"Don't stress about it V, I mean- it's not that deep but personally if it was me I would have taken that opportunity just saying.." Charisse tried to comfort her but didn't really make her feel any better & now Vanessa was brought back to those untouched memories of her secondary school days.
Those days where she never had that opportunity to be with boys, she wasn't anyone's preference back then & she had a horrible relationship with men constantly nitpicking her physical appearance.
"Anyway, how's Josai?" Charisse took the opportunity to change the subject & now the subject was instead focused on that boy they had met in line at the Tion Wayne concert a few days ago.
Josai had asked Vanessa for her Snapchat & they had been talking back and forth but nothing of substance for Vanessa. Sometimes it was just too hard for her to build a real connection with people who were genuinely interested in her especially after years of chasing boys only to be told that she didn't look good enough. Even though things had changed for her she still felt like that same girl inside who didn't really know who actually liked her for herself.
Vanessa had this Internal battle in herself every time a male approached her it was as if she asked herself now was it because she finally looked like societies beauty standard that they would approach her or if they genuinely saw something in her that would make them come to her.
"He's there.." she responded blandly, sighing to herself. "Vanessa, you've got to start giving people a chance y'know" Charisse encouraged her.
"I know-" Vansssa sighed back. Her mind was still playing on how foolish she was to have turned down a famous rapper. She couldn't have cared less about boys like Josai or boys her age.
"He wants to go out but I dunno-" she shrugged & Charisse looked at her with a grin. "You're so picky!!" Charisse teased. "I'm not picky, I just don't wanna waste my time" Vanessa laughed in defence.
It was true, she would rather waste her time with someone of status than with some boy her own age. She found it pointless.
Charisse chuckled at Vanessa's response, she knew her friend too well. "Well at least give the boy a chance" Charisse sighed and Vanessa nodded as she watched Charisse get back to painting her toes.
Vanessa chewed nervously on her bottom lip, pondering on what she was going to text him. Tion. She didn't want to come across as too beggish but she also wanted to show him that she had simply made a silly mistake.
Vanessa was going hard on herself mentally, beating herself up for allowing him to slip from the grip of her hands like that. She had never gotten an opportunity like that before and somehow she managed to fuck things up and waste it.
Vanessa's eyes glanced down at the white nail polish, slowly she could feel herself pondering deeper. Her eyes still opened, her blinking slowed down as she just stared.
Past.
"Have you seen her Fam? Lowe it she's bare skinny I would never beat that are you dumb!" The year eleven boys squawked unnecessarily loud on their way to form time as per usual every morning.
Missed Opportunities Or A Blessing In Disguise
Start from the beginning
