The Piano Teacher

Chapter 25

And yet, despite all that he wanted Harriet to return and for things to go back to normal, a part of him also dreaded that reality, of going back to being stepped over and insulted every moment. But she was still the woman he married. He had grown so accustomed to her that he wasn't sure if he could ever do without her.

That evening, just before they closed the mercantile, it snowed for the first time.

Charlotte noticed it first and hurried to the window with a bright smile. "Isn't that a sight?" she said happily. The snow was fine enough that it barely clung to anything, but the slow-falling flakes were still picturesque. "The snow in Minneapolis is always a shade of gray, but here, it's whiter than I've ever seen."

The sight of Charlotte's wonder and glee made Nels's heart feel soft and tender like a piece of overripe fruit. God must favor me if he allowed such a woman to cross my path, he thought.

"We'll get more attractive snowfall soon enough," said Nels, taking off his apron and taking hers, folding both and putting them away. "And then there'll be so much snow you'll be sick of it."

She laughed quietly. They didn't have to say anything before they retired to the parlor as they often did. He made some tea and they sipped and chatted for a while before Charlotte took her usual place at the piano. Her approach to the Etude had evolved.

Before, the very thought of playing it had made her feel sick. But now, that fear had diminished to a certain extent. Now, she could play most of the first half without much discomfort at all. But it always came back when it came to that particular point in the middle, and then the floodgates of her fear would break all over again.

Yet, she felt that she was closer to pushing past it than ever. Playing it over and over again, forcing herself as much as it pained her, seemed to help. Though each session would leave her heart racing and her hands trembling, she felt more than ever that, one day, she could play the whole song again as she used to, and play it in a most spectacular way.

She loved that Nels never pushed her in this aspect. He was always patient with her. He just wanted to help her and see what she could do, and she wanted so badly to show him. She tried again this evening, her fingers racing across the keys, Nels observing her from the armchair over her shoulder.

She loved the feeling that filled her when he watched her play.

It made her body feel hot and jittery. In addition to the passion she poured into the music, it allowed her to feel more alive than at any other time.

She expected this evening to be no different in terms of being unable to finish her song. And sure enough, as she kept playing, she could feel the sickening lurch in her soul that would soon grow to a point that her hands would pull away and stop.

But this time, as she played and started to shake, Nels stepped up behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders. "Come on, Charlotte," he said gently, encouragingly.

"I can't," she whispered, her voice shrouded by the music, beginning to feel her hands stiffen up. The feeling of his hands on her was delectable; she wished he would touch her more. She knew it was a sinful thought, but she couldn't deny it.

"You can," he insisted. "Come on. I want to see what you look like without any fear in you, even if it's just for a moment."

He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. It lasted longer than any of the other pecks he had given her. It felt different. Less friendly and... more of something else.

It made her whole body fill with warmth, from her toes to the top of her head. Her eyelids drooped and she was so focused on the feeling of his lips on her cheek that, for a moment, all her trepidation went away.