Pull Over - a short story

Chapter Seven - Itinerary

Pull Over

Chapter Seven - Itinerary

⇆⇅⇄⇅⇆⇅⇄⇅⇆⇅⇄

One Month Later

Tallahassee, Florida

"Should I pack it?"

Next to two open suitcases on my bed sits my free Sig Ep sneaker ball t-shirt. Elliott laughs, standing beside me, and he nods. "Absolutely," he says, "it's one of your favorite sleep shirts."

"This one is, too." I tug on the corner of Elliott's shirt, watching his cheeks flush my favorite shade of pink. While driving back to Tallahassee last month, Elliott pulled over somewhere in Mississippi.

Just like the Gator Boardwalk, Elliott was drawn to the sign that flashed Teddy Bear House Museum. He stopped the car, insisted we venture inside, and we spent the next twenty minutes in a house full of teddy bears. At the gift shop, he purchased a bright blue souvenir t-shirt and a magnet for our refrigerator.

But just like every night for the past month, I've been sleeping in his t-shirts. They smell like him, they feel like him. So when he leaves for classes in the morning, it's not entirely miserable without him.

He always leaves coffee in the pot – enough for me to have one mug and a half, because he knows that after my first cup, I'll need just a little bit more. If we fall asleep in my room, he leaves one of his sweatshirts on the pillow for when I wake up. If we fall asleep in his room, he puts his slippers on my side because he knows my feet are always cold. If we fall asleep on the couch, he lays an extra blanket on my body and sets two Ibuprofen with water on the coffee table. A few months ago, my neck hurt after sleeping on the couch. He has left Ibuprofen ever since.

"You can pack this one." He whispers, slipping the shirt over his head before I can protest. A silence falls between us; his shirt bunched in his hand, body heat radiating towards the chills that run down my spine.

"E," I breathe. He folds the t-shirt, setting it on top of the others, and then he kisses my shoulder.

"I'm going to get started on dinner."

We haven't talked about it. We haven't established what we are or what we're going to do. I leave for medical school, he stays for graduate school. His graduation is after this Fall semester, we're both aware of that, but then what? What's the plan?

I still have two weeks until I leave. Packing early, making sure everything is in order... that's just me. Elliott hasn't found a roommate for this semester without me, but he claims he can afford it and he doesn't want one. He doesn't want a roommate unless it's me.

Every time one of us starts to talk about it, the other one shuts down. Communication is usually our strong suit, but not since the dynamic in our relationship changed from friends to people that definitely love each other but one of them won't fucking say it.

I know he's getting frustrated, but I know that he knows me well enough, and that means he knows where my mind is at – I'm leaving for school, we don't know what we're doing, but I really do love him.

I do, I always have, and I'm not being fair to him. I've had a month to mourn the family I never had, the parents I handed a tray of cookies to and then cried in front of their house. I have had that time. I've grieved, been sad and angry and jealous. But I've been Jac again, all because of Elliott.

We eat dinner together, something we don't always do because of his classes and my shifts at the cafe. But tonight, we're together, and the conversation has gotten lost again. I'm the one who puts on 50 First Dates when we find ourselves together on the couch. And even though we avoid talking about our future, he still holds me as the sun goes down.