“Say cheese!” ngumiti agad kami lahat nung pinalabas ni April ang kanyang digital camera. We took many silly shots too and we immediately uploaded it in our social media. And as expected, si Maria ’yong parang slide show kung maka post!
May bahay sila April sa Uptown kaya nagpahinga kami roon saglit at mostly pictures before we proceed to their pastry shop. Halos napamangha ako nung nilibot ko ang buong shop. Ang ganda sa mata ng mga design, mostly pastel colors. Naka cellophane pa ang mga furnitures na naroon. I got excited and even checked all of the paintings that was pasted on the walls.
“Ikaw ba mamahala nito soon?” I said still amazed.
I saw her shrugged her shoulders cooly, “Nope, I have plans for myself and I have my brothers, they can handle this shop in the future.”
Parang tour guide namin si April at nilibot kami sa buong shop. May second floor pa ito kung mas prefer mo pa ang sariwang hangin and better view from the outside. I bit my lower lips getting excited more when April also toured us on the kitchen.
Si Maria ay tahimik lang at todo picture, she’s having her best life right now and I even saw it that she posted it on her socials. While Ezra on the other hand are on the high chair boredly looking at us.
“Mag s-serve sana kayo ng cocktail para naman maging top customer niyo ako dito. . . baka pakyawin ko ’to pag ginawa niyo ’yon.” si Ezra.
Lumapit agad ako kay April para bumulong, “Gumawa ka cocktail tapos lagyan mo lason para hindi na mabuhay. . .”
Bumulong pabalik si April sa akin, “Edi lugi na kami, wala ng magpapakyaw.” We both chuckled loudly that made Maria and Ezra curious.
’Yong buong hapon ay ginulgol namin sa pagkwekwentuhan at pictures. We even shared some little secrets that we haven’t done in the past years. Nung naka-uwi na ako ay dumiretso na ako sa kwarto at hindi na nag abalang kumain ng hapunan. I opened my phone to check if mom is calling me earlier because I haven’t heard a word from her this past few days.
Nung nakita ko na wala ay hindi na ako nag abala. Napapikit agad ako sa inis nung tumulo ang mga luha ko dahil siguro sa pagod at pangungulila. When I was young, I tried to reach out to them and wanted to hug them. Sino ba ang mga anak na ayaw mahagkan ang kanyang sariling pamilya? I tried to understand their situation back then, naintindihan ko na ang ginagawa nila ay para rin naman sa akin ’yon. . . pero kahit ni minsan ba ay naintindihan nila ako?
I always have the thought back then that if I will be remained as a good daughter then maybe they’ll finally noticed me and started to give the love that I always wanted. But then, I was fifteen that time when I finally understood that they don’t wanted a daughter in the first place, they’re still not ready that’s why I need to be tough and create a thousands reasons why they’re like that and why the need of my understanding. I wanted a parent but they never wanted a child. I never blamed them but I wish I didn’t born in the first place.
Mabilis ko agad pinunasan ang luha na tumulo sa mga mata ko at biglang napatawa nung nag send sila ng meme sa group chat. I reminded my self everytime to not be affected with my negative thoughts, I always like this once i’m tired.
Ito talaga ang mga ayaw ko, it’s a kind of phobia that after being happy you will scared that anything bad will come to you. Because the more you happy the more sadness will follow you.
Nag scroll ako sa social media ko nung tumunog ’yong cellphone ko sunod sunod at kita ko roon ang notification na galing kay Zowen. She liked all of my post from earlier and I even raised my brow when she commented a heart on that one picture when i’m in the kitchen. I mean, most of my pictures have hearts emoji in the comments section too, maybe she just imitated it? Pero hindi naman necessary na gayahin niya ’yon!
