You You You | ORGINALLY WRITTEN BY ISTHATYOULARRY ON AO3

Chapter Fifteen: A Rough Time

Yeah...that was a lot. Quite the load. Niall was going to burst any second now. Louis knew. So he did the only thing he could. He opened his arms wide and Niall crawled into him. And he cried, he cried and cried. He fisted at Louis shirt desperately, sobbing and crying his guts out. And Louis just held him, hugging him tightly, knowing there wasn't much else he could do right now.

He didn't know how long they stood like that. In a way it was nice, just holding on to each other.

But Louis felt ashamed. Niall was Louis' best friend. He hadn't even noticed any difference in him. Niall who clearly had been having a rough fucking time. He'd been a bad friend. Too obsessed with his own shit. He was terrible. It was a real, smack in the face, wake up call. These last two days, he'd realized how much he needed to take responsibility.

Eventually Niall's uncontrolled cries turned into low sniffles and Louis' work shirt turned from pretty okay, to wet and scrunched up.

Louis sat Niall down on the couch and then joined him. They sat next to each other, Niall gripping Louis' hand, both leaning back against the couch with closed eyes. They sat in silence, Louis knowing not to press.

Eventually Niall spoke in a hoarse voice. "It used to be me and you. You and I as the forever bachelors, partying and banging people left to right... We were the ultimate college bros." He said. "But now you're with Harry and you're together and all perfectly coupley. And what if I miss you?" He took a deep breath. "What if I miss partying with you, and getting drunk and having fun? We still do that but that, but Harry is always there. Don't get me wrong, I love Harry, but Nouis time? We need more Nouis time."

Guilt was rushing all over the place. He really had been neglecting Niall, hadn't he?

"And you're always with him. You're all in love and perfect. And what if I want that too? What if I also want to cuddle with someone on the couch and whisper sweet things with?"

"You wanted that with Shauna?" Louis said lowly and frowned, staring at his hands.

"I guess it's just that I thought she liked me like that. I thought we could have that. Thought she liked me, and then that'd be enough because I want what you and Harry have so badly. So it just hurts when she breaks it off and says 'we weren't really anything anyway'".

"She said that?" Louis gasped. Niall nodded, swallowing harshly.

"But like it's not her. It's the situation. I think I had more feelings for the thought of being with her than her, the actual person." Niall sighed, rubbing eyes. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to collect himself a bit.

"You had feelings for a thought?" Louis couldn't help but smile.

Niall snorted, a small stretch in one of the corners of his mouth. "I guess."

"I'm really sorry, Niall. She's a coldhearted bitch, but I'm sorry that I didn't listen to you and I've been a fucking jerk," Louis guiltily said.

"You have," Niall said and Louis smiled and rolled his eyes.

He continued. "And about the sexuality thingies," he said awkwardly. "I hate the thought that I might have pressured you. No one should be pressured with those kind of things."

"You haven't really. I'm just confused..." Niall frowned. "Remember the bounce and shake thing?"

"Yeah?" What had that been about really?

"I was confused because I was, and I still am, jealous of you and Harry. And then I didn't understand it because I like girls and I like boobs and then Harry said he was bi and but didn't really care for boobs and-"