Helluva Guy (Helluva Boss x Autisic reader.)

Spring Broken

Moxxie: Don't touch that!

Blitzo races and presses his hands against the window.

Blitzo: Moxxie, don't let her access any of your holes!

Moxxie races back into the hall, panting with his back against the door. He walks past them, battered and shaken with red lipstick kisses all over his face.

Moxxie: I... I gotta go lie down... now.

Moxxie falls face-first onto the ground.

Blitzo: Oh, this won't STAND!

Blitzo kicks both doors open, causing Verosika and her gang to notice.

Blitzo: Alright...! THAT'S IT!

Blitzo stomps toward Verosika.

Blitzo: If you're gonna be shitty to my employees, then I challenge you to a fuckin'... challenge! Fuck, I said that twice.

Kiki: Mmmm... Is this imp boy starting a demon duel?

Verosika: I think he is!

Verosika leans in toward Blitzo.

Verosika: What's the game then, Blitz-o?

Blitzo: Every year, you STD spreaders go up topside for easy pickin's while spring break is a prime time for crime of all kinds! So I bet... you succu-bitches can't fuck as many people as we can off by the end of the day.

The succubi laugh. Blitzo glares in determination. They stop laughing.

Verosika: Oh, you're serious?

She leans in close to Blitzo's face, speaking in a low whisper.

Verosika: Game on... bitch.

/////

Later at I.M.P Headquarters, Blitzo stands in front of the whiteboard. Behind him is an easel with drawings on papers. The other I.M.P members sit at a table and listen.

Blitzo: Alright, shut your assholes! Here's how we're gonna do this shit! First, we find a fuck ton of clients.

The animated drawings on the paper show Blitzo, Loona, Millie, Y/N, and Moxxie standing together. A bunch of imps and clients surround them with bags of money.

Blitzo: We portal up.

Blitzo drawing snaps his fingers. The I.M.P figures fall down.

Blitzo: We have our fun murder time as per usual.

The I.M.P drawings kill off human drawings with guns.

Blitzo: We pile all the bodies into a big fuckin' canoe.

The human bodies are tossed into a canoe that reads "S.S. Cum Gutter".

Blitzo: We push said canoe into some water.

Blitzo drawing kicks the canoe full of bodies away from the dock.

Blitzo: We light it on fire to attract the sharks and eagles 'n shit. Maybe a goose, too! Fuck it!

Animated drawings of sharks, snakes, eagles and creatures eat the bodies set on fire in the canoe. A large octopus chomps the entire ship and the animals.

Blitzo: They come and eat the bodies, we win the bet...

The I.M.P drawings cheer and the Loona figure wears a party hat.

Blitzo: We become Pinheads new soul getters.

Chatter's drawing is giving Blitzo's drawing the puzzle box.