kissland . ✈

can't feel my face.

There were dark skies, and it was pouring outside. Smoke filled the room, blunts laced with coke, lean filled empty bottles, and music blasted throughout the house. Diana was scared, but never lost hope. All she wanted to do was go home, and maybe see her family again. All I can is Valerie's face, all I can hear is her moans, all I can feel is her presence. Diana reminds me of her. Memories of Valerie.

Diana.
I sit at the window watching the rain fall, and inhale the secondhand smoke. I listen to him singing softly, as the high takes him every minute.

" When I'm fucked up, that's the real me, babe."

I look at him, as he sits by himself. Thoughts run through my mind, I start to open my mouth to say something, but I keep to myself. I pull my legs closer to me and close my eyes. I fade into my thoughts, and hear someone I can't recognize.
[ Why would you let a complete stranger keep you here, and you know you gotta nigga at home. This is what happened when you trust niggas you barely know. This is what happened with you and Bryson. Bryson? Remember that nigga? Don't go there, please. I beg of you. It was the year you just turned 16, and you found out your bitch ass of a daddy beat on your mama, and she covered all of her scars with makeup and told you that all those thumps and screams were actually her. stop. the year you lost your drunk father to a shooting in your neighborhood. shut up. The year you got pregnant twice, and had a miscarriage. get out of my head. back to Bryson, remember when he told you that he ' loved you ' and made you a drug addicted whore? remember when he forced you into the sex trade, and he left you alone to fend for yourself. Just at 16? what the - ]

  I fight my way out of my thoughts, and tears run down my face. I couldn't be the victim of my past again. I just couldn't deal with all those thoughts at once. I look up and see, him staring at me. He gets up, walks towards me, and wipes the tears off my face.
" what's wrong, babygirl? "
   I shake my head, and look up at him. I see pain in his eyes, and pat the couch so he can sit next to me. He sits, and he pulls me into his arms. I have never felt so safe, and scared at once. He slowly kisses down my neck, his lips kiss away the pain. I felt safe, but Raymond comes to my mind. I try to push him away, and he grips my waist roughly. He faces me towards him, and his lips move so fast and barely a whisper comes out.
" Relax. Diana."
My heart starts to beat against my chest as his travel along my body, and his hand found his way into my panties. His fingers playing my lips and rubbing my clit oh so gently .. omfg this feels like heaven. I turn my head slightly, kiss him passionately, and moan slightly. His hands find my breasts, he grips them gently, my stripper instincts kick in, and I start grinding on him, slowly like it was my turn on the pole.