Repeated

Facing Realities

I don't know why I did it. It was fucking stupid, and in the heat of the moment. However laying in bed at Two-bits house made me think, 'what did I actually gain from sleeping with Tim.'

I wish I didn't. Not cause it was bad, or anything to do with Tim. But I didn't want Tim, I wanted Dallas, it was that simple. My headache, my stomach felt sick my eyes heavy. A hangover is never fun, its the worlds way of slapping you in the face.

I wouldn't say I don't remember last night but it definitely isn't very clear. I don't even know what time I got home. Or where Two-bit even is. God why is it so hot? I reached over to the beside clock the time reading, '10:36 am'.

A groan fell out of my mouth as I covered my head in the pillow. How could it be 10:30 already. I sat up stretching before pulling myself out of bed. I quickly rushed to the bathroom to do a little hair and makeup before walking out the door.

I had work but I wanted to go past bucks, I needed to ask Dally something. I know I know I shouldn't talk to him but I just need to know. I ran up to the front door and knocked once. All things considers he's probably not here but its worth a try.

To my surprise the person who opens the door is the exact person I wanted, Dallas.

Our eyes met and his bore into mine with a cold intensity. His eyes ran down my body and back up to my eyes. I had so much to say, so much to yell at him about but seeing him, that bruised eye and banged up lip I wondered what had happened.

"What do yer want?" His voice, low and husky. I didn't even know. Maybe I wanted an explanation, or for him to apologize. I just wanted to talk to him really. He sighed and rolled his eyes, "Man' why yer 'er?" He sounded so impatient and outright rude.

"I wanted to see you Dallas." I tried to feign confidence, really I felt scared like a little kid lost from there parent at a show. I didn't feel safe but I had to find what I lost. He leans against the wall lighting his cigarette, taking a drag, "Right."

The silence fills the air around us, 'Right' it kept replying in my head, "Really?" I couldn't stand it anymore, "Really, that's all you have to say to me, 'Right'." He scoffs blowing out the cigarette smoke into my face causing me to involuntary cough.

"What did yer expect man'? For me to give ya' damn flowers and a kiss on the fuckin' cheek." His voice raised. I was so sick of just standing here like some pushover, letting people treat me like fucking trash all the time.

"Your such a dick Dally". He just simply laughs, "Go have a sook man'." I swear to god someone needed to punch him in the other eye to bruise him up real nice. "I don't get why your bein' so rude Dallas.". I just wanted him to talk to me like we used to talk, not like this.

He glared something awful at me, "Why? Yer damn kissed 'em soc". I looked him dead in the eye, "He kissed me!". He shakes his head, "And what doll? Yer moved?". I looked towards the ground, "Dal I didn't want to kiss him, it just happened.". Dally looked up at the sky, "Yer an' Tim huh?"

"What do you mean?" My voice was tinged with curiosity but also knowing. Dallas didn't look me in the eye, "Last night? Tim let me know 'bout it". My heart sank slightly. I knew Tim would tell Dally, I just wanted to have a good reason for doing it but truthfully I didn't.

"Dal... you were kissin' Sylvia 'nd I got mad, and drunk and stupid". He glanced down and a let out an audible sigh, "We was just kissin' though." I felt this urge within me to say something more.

"Look at my neck Dal, you put yourself in this situation, I'm not the one who got violent. I'm not the one who Kissed Sylvia knowing it would annoy me. I'm not the one who consistently hurts me like I'm trash. That might sound stupid or narcissistic and so what? You can't talk to me like you do okay?!" I basically yelled at him my chest felt heavy.

He just stared at me his gaze lingering on my neck for a moment before returning eye to eye. "Dal I didn't come 'er to argue" I stopped for a moment taking a deep breath, "I just didn't want us to end like that, violent and aggressive. So if you want to break up that fine, but I needed you to know that I'm not gon'a take being called a slut anymore aight"

The silence dragged on before he groaned stepping forward our lips locking. I was surprised by it, but also not super surprised. His hand brought my body closer to his the kiss lingering longer then a normal quick peck would. He stared at me after, "Man', I missed doing that".

I guess it had been like a week and a half since we had kissed since he was in the cooler then he well y'know. He went in for another kiss but I pulled back tilting my head, "You missed that? Or..?" I smiled softly hoping he would say what I wanted to hear.

He seemed dumbfounded though, it was kinda funny. His hand caressed my back as he thought for a moment before kissing my neck, "Sorry 'bout, y'know man'." He mumbled into my neck as he gently kissed it as if that would help what he did go away.

Maybe I was to forgiving, maybe I expect people to change even if they won't. I just hope time will stop Repeating itself. Not again...