Vows Of Serenity

16.

"You are afraid of falling in love, aren't you?", it was more of a statement than a question. "Hn?", my voice caught in my throat as I felt a loss of words. "Maybe it's the feeling of being the only one to fall, which scares me", I honestly answered moving close in his warm embrace.

"You like him, don't you?", he questioned, his eyes laced with mirth when he gazed down at me. "Honestly, I don't want to, but-," I rubbed my eyebrow with my index finger blinking nervously

"You do", he stated. "Just a bit, I guess", I motioned with my thumb touching the tip of my index finger and he chuckled.
I avoided eye contact with him, sheepishly rubbing the back of my neck.
The thought of Moksh left me giddy all of a sudden.

We fell into comfortable silence and Sam decided it was enough and not to tease me further. It was the beauty of the bond I shared with Sam, we had each other's back every time. Even though he was annoying and irritating at times, he very well knew how to comfort me and crack me up, lifting my mood whenever I had a bad day.

I focused on the stars which twinkled in the night sky.

"Even though I don't believe in God, but still. Hey, God Can you tell Nani and Ish that I miss them both.", my voice was low, almost inaudible. A tear cascaded down my eye and I sniffed. Sam sat beside me and rubbed my shoulder soothingly.

I sometimes don't understand, why the heavens needed the only person whom I needed the most. Everyone left me slowly, leaving me alone. Even though I find other people the one who left can't be replaced with anyone.

I sniffed as a tear escaped my eyes.

"He hurt me, Nani"
"I tried trusting him, but he proved it otherwise"
"Come back to me please, everyone is hurting me. No one loves me as you do"
"Come back, Ish. No one loves me, they all treat me badly, really badly"
"I miss you both, come back, please"

On days when I'm deprived of sleep and emotions, completely exhausted, and filled with anxiety, I sit by myself and wonder, what if heavens had visiting hours?
So that whenever I wanted, I could just go there, sleep in Nani's lap, where she would cocoon me in her warm embrace and never come back.

And just like that, the night passed in a blur. The next morning I woke up early and went for my morning jog. Everyone in the Mehrotra mansion was a health freak, they all did their daily workout, cardio or yoga, whatever they preferred.

No doubt the entire family was in shape and fit. And they rubbed it on me for a month and a half, I had to exercise daily with the younger Mehrotras.

Moksh was a gym rat too, the man wouldn't miss his gym schedule at any cost. This drool-worthy physique and veiny arms were the proof of his countless hours in the gym.
Kuch bhi bolo, pati maal toh hai mera!

[Translation: my husband is hot]

With my headphones plugged in and my favourite music blasting I jogged in the park alone. It was the early hour of the morning and there was barely anyone around much to my relief since I dislike people around, minus my in-laws even though the mansion was always bustling with people.

After my warm-up, I rushed back to Chauhan Nivas, got ready for the day and walked downstairs.

"You're going somewhere?", it was Avni, who had just woken up from her beauty sleep. "Yup, gonna go grab breakfast at Joshi's residence", I replied strapping my watch.

"Wait, I'm also joining you, can't miss Amrita Kaku's special chai parathas", the sleep flew away from her eyes and she ran back to her room to get ready. "Be fast, Avni. Me tujhya sathi thambanar nahi jasth ved, mala bhuk lagali aahe kasun", I shouted to which she just replied a loud yes.