Announcement Book for special stuff :3

pls read. or not '^'

︻デ═一・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Hello! if youre reading this to the end. thank you. i needed to get this out.

✧:･ﾟ( ̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:̲̅]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅ ) ･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ( ̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:̲̅]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅ ) ･ﾟ✧

Is it sexual harassent if someone is touching you in your sleep?

Let me rewind to just yesterday evening.

︻デ═一・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

I was studying my Marketing for the exam on Monday, when my neighbour, lets call him David- walks in with my brother- imma call him Matthias. SO Matthias and David just head onto the bead to watch anime and chill. i think they were watching highschool of the elites :0

So I'm kneeling on the floor with one of the futons laid out serving as a table for me and like my butt is in the air, and I'm like 'I don't care, these dudes have known me ages no way no one is looking at my ass, besides one of them is my brother'. Surprise, surprise, I caught David looking at me from the corner of his eye. I ignore it and say must've been something else.

Anygays, I grow a bit tired after  reading my textbook and decided to take a quick 20 minute nap on the floor. (Usually when a highschool student says this- it turns into a 3 hour nap) 

I get a pillow and lay down on the floor, flat on my face. So, like my body is flat on the ground, my face in the pillow. Yeah, you get right? And then, after five minutes of laying like that, slowly drifting of to sleep I feel someone's toes poking at my butt. I didn't think much of it, cause someone's foot was already there. 

Next thing I know the foot is nudging at my butt, and I ignore it because I'm really stupid and oblivious when it comes to rampaging horny teenage boys in a room. (I'm facepalming at my stupidity at the moment) I finally drift of to sleep and then like 10 or seven minutes later... the foot is on my butt, like just there on it like some sort of stepping stool or something. It doesn't stay there for long because then the person gets up and walk out of the room and I relax for a few seconds. 

Theres footsteps and I pretend as if I'm still deep in sleep, meanwhile I'm barely even conscious. Someone takes a seat on one of the small chairs in the room. It was right next to me.

Here comes the uncomfortable part. The groping. *throws up* Yeah, some grabs at me and I' in shock because- how? why? i trusted these people. And I'm so uncomfortable with it. I was so confused on what to do. My mind just went blank. To make things worse, I just stayed there like the piece if shit I am and couldn't do anything. I was too busy with stuff going on in my head, how unsafe I felt, I just wanted to break down in tears. 

It sounds stupid and most people would think I enjoyed it... but I didn't ... i was terrified... disgusted and felt so jumpy and I know its small compared to what other people go through but damn it! I- just...

ANYGAYS, the person finally left and after a good five minuted of me... staring into nothing for 20 mins I decided to tell someone.

I told my brother, Imma call him Nathaniel.

"Hey Nat? I think someone was touching me in my sleep-" I said, still on the floor and playing with a piece of my curled hair.

"Maybe you imagined it," Nat said softly staring at me. I gulped and nodded, feeling a stray tear escape from my eyes.  Nat patted my head and told me to drink some water.

The next morning, today, I told Matthias... He sent me into a panic attack.

"Mat, I think David touched my butt when I was sleeping." I said more sure of myself. I couldn't be dreaming it.

Mattias shrugged and said, "So?"

I was furious. "So, someone raped your sister and you say nothing but "so?" 

Mattias shrugged again and sighed, "Well, at least now you wont be gay and asxual. Its a good thing. Now you might want to have sex. Didnt it feel nice?"

His words... well... along with my internal homophobia and the fact that Ive been questioning my sexualit recently made me feel- numb and then I locked myself in the bathroom crying.

My brother called me overdratic but meh- I guess I should be used to this by now... 

I- felt so uncomfortable and we speak the dude who touched me is in the room with my brothers. I'm in the living room rn so I'm safe, I think.

Sighhhsss- aight that's it.

🏳️‍🌈 I think may be asexual because I think- ost times when I try to think of sex... i get so uncomfortable and irritated. I dunno- To the asexual community... Dont let anyone try to make you "not asexual" they'll think that raping you will help remove it from your body but its so not fucking true. your beauful and you having sex shouldn't be one of the world most trivial issues. 

I love being me. They loved me for when I wasn't me. Im still in an identity crisis but I know this storm will fade and I'll keep pushing.

I might have to hide and bury who I am deep down inside... at least until I'm positive and I'Min the clear. 

Feel free to put you opinions.

Once again

✧:･ﾟ( ̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:̲̅]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅ ) ･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ( ̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:̲̅]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅ ) ･ﾟ✧

Is it sexual harassent if someone is touching you in your sleep?

✧:･ﾟ( ̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:̲̅]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅ ) ･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ( ̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:̲̅]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅ ) ･ﾟ✧in my healing era

(❁'◡'❁)