Imbalance [Suguru Geto][Choso]

Chapter 11 - Kickflip

You inhale deeply, trying to steel your nerves. "Yeah. I– It's gonna suck, but I'm ready to let this go...to let him go."

You hear Choso hum distantly on the other end, followed by a light tapping noise just before you feel your phone vibrate. Oddly enough, it's a text from Choso.

ChoCho: It's getting weird. He thinks I don't see him watching me from across the park.

ChoCho: I'm gonna hang up. Good luck over there. Come meet me here when you're done? We can talk.

The line goes dead...

You shake your head, bringing yourself back to the present. Choso's question echoes in your thoughts. "How did the conversation go?"

"Not well," you finally answer. "But that's not my problem anymore."

To this, Choso hums. "No, not anymore. Are you alright, though?"

Choso's voice is gentle when he speaks, concern evident in his tone. He's still holding your cheek, eyes scanning your face and your hand comes up to hold his wrist. You nod.

He is so perfect. You wish you had realized it sooner. You would have saved yourself, but more importantly Choso so much pain.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just..." Your words are failing you now, at the worst moment and you bite down on your lip as you try to gather your thoughts. Choso waits patiently for you, as always, and it makes you bite down just a bit harder. You know you don't deserve him. You're the lucky one here; the real winner between this fucked up love triangle you've been forcing everyone into over the last few months.

His dark, piercing eyes bore into yours, and the kindness and care you see in them makes you tear up. The tears prickle along your waterline and you almost want to throw your arms around his neck so you can bury your face and hide your tears there.

"I'm so sorry, Choso," you breathe shakily. He holds your gaze steadily. He's always steady. Never wavering. The security he provides you only makes you more emotional and you have to swallow down the sob that's threatening to come. "Really...I can't even begin to tell you how fucking sorry I am."

"You have no reason to be sorry."

"Stop, I do!" You argue, voice rising. He always gives you grace, always finds a way to make it seem like you weren't a piece of shit stringing him along. He's only ever truly been upset with you once, that you know of - the day of the photoshoot. It was the first time you'd seen Choso lose his composure, really show how upset he was with you and this whole situation.

And while you want to tell him to yell at you, stop excusing your actions, to be angry with you – because honestly, he should be furious with you – you know better than anyone by now that Choso wears his heart on his sleeve. What he feels in the moment, you'll see, without hesitation. So, you inhale deeply, calming yourself before you continue. The last thing you want to do is turn this into some big spectacle, although there's no one around to actually witness it this late at night.

"I've been dragging you along all this time, Choso. And you...you've been so patient and so kind and understanding when you didn't have to be. I'm just...so sorry."

Choso purses his lips as he takes your hand in his and squeezes softly. "I chose to stick around because I wanted to." He brings your hand up to his mouth, presses his lips gently to your palm with a sweet kiss. "Because you were worth it." Another kiss to your hand. "I just needed you to realize you were worth it, too."

Your vision blurs, hot tears falling from your eyes and rolling down your cheeks. You don't want to cry in front of Choso. You don't deserve to cry in front of him, but when you left Suguru's and rushed to the park, you didn't have much hope. You fully expected Choso to tell you he was done with you, that this was over.