Where Do We Go Now?

Present.

"No, that's okay, just put it in the fridge." Louis mutters and walks into the lounge room, feeling like he's in a daze. "Thank you though."

"Are you sure? You look pale."

"I'm fine." Louis says, sitting on the couch. He was absolutely not fine. Harry shrugs and puts it in the fridge, walking over and sitting next to Louis, watching him softly.

"Did something happen?" Harry whispers. Louis swallows.

"No." Louis decides to have a crisis later. "Just tired." Harry smiles at him gently and hold out his arms. Louis falls into them like he's just come home from war. Harry holds him close, Louis can hear his heart beating rhythmically. How is he not affected in the same way Louis is?

He draws swirls on Harry's shirt, clenching his fist around the maroon materiel. "Do you want to sleep?" Harry says quietly, "Or watch a movie?" Louis shakes his head slowly. He can feel Harry exhale on his hair.

"Just..." Louis' mouth feels dry. "Can we stay like this? Please?" Harry nods and squeezes Louis tighter. Louis feels tiny wrapped in Harry's arms. He doesn't mind it for once. He tenses when Harry kisses his forehead. He doesn't know why but his eyes tear up slightly.

"Lou..." Harry sounds so small. "Can we um... talk about something? Important."

Louis purses his lips. He really doesn't want to. Not right now. Not when one word will ruin everything. Not when... not when he loves Harry this much.

"Do we have to?" He whispers. Harry inhales.

"I want to. Please, Lou, I don't want it to come out like it did last time." So. Harry doesn't love Louis back. That's what Louis' getting from this. Harry-

"I don't know if I'm coming back next term."

Louis' brain freezes. He goes cold, all warmth left Harry's body. "What?" Not this. Not everything all over again.

"Or. Um. Ever." Louis sits up, staring at Harry in shock. Harry continues, "There's nothing for me here, really and-"

"What about me?" Louis' body is numb. Harry's expression softens.

"Well I mean... we're not, like, togeth-"

"Don't say it." Louis' voice hardens. Suddenly he wants Harry to leave. Right. Now. "Go. Please."

"Louis, can we talk about this? I wanted to say I-"

"Go!" Louis yells, he doesn't know where this is coming from, or if this angers always been there. Maybe it has. Harry's eyes water and Louis bites his tongue. Fuck. Harry swallows and stands up, shoving his hands in his pockets before walking out.

The door slams shut and Louis' tears escape. He falls back onto the couch and closes his eyes, allowing himself to sob himself into the depth of darkness.

**

As much as Louis hated to admit it to himself, he missed Harry. He woke in the middle of he night wanting to touch his hair and hold him close, or even just kiss him again.

God, if only Harry had told him a month ago and Louis could have stopped himself from falling.

The days grew shorter, which was fine by Louis, seeing as he spent most of his time in his bed wallowing and time was irrelevant to him now. Day and night blended into each other and he's pretty sure Lottie called him a hundred times. Something about her being worried.

Harry called too. That's when Louis turned off his phone.

Harry called obsessively, looking back on it. He sent texts too, asking to talk. Asking if he's okay. How dare Harry have the absolute audacity to ask him that after he not only ripped out his heart, but tore it painfully slowly from his chest, ate it, threw it up, chopped it, cooked it, stomped on it, threw it on to a highway and ran it over with his own car.