Love Again

Chapter 6

Keep lying, keep lying to me
Just keep lying, keep lying to me
Don't go fucking with my fantasy
Keep lying to me

Feed me your fiction
Give me just one taste to sustain this addiction
Blissful affliction
I'll swallow your poison 'til it runs through my veins
Fills my heart with deception
Twists my perception

Baby I've known lonely
So let me down now slowly
You know me
Tell me I'm your only
Even if it hurts

Keep lying, keep lying to me
Just keep lying, keep lying to me
Don't go fucking with my fantasy
Keep lying to me

Tell me a story
Let's make believe
If you're lying, I'll listen
Say it through your teeth
Make me a prison and throw away the key
'Cause I know what I'm missing is better than nothing

Baby I've known lonely
So let me down now slowly
You know me
Tell me I'm your only
Tell me I'm your only, no

Baby I've known lonely, yeah
Let me down now slowly
You owe me
Tell me I'm your only
Even if it hurts

Keep lying, keep lying to me
Just keep lying, keep lying to me
Don't go fucking with my fantasy
Keep lying to me

Keep lying, keep lying to me
Just keep lying, keep lying to me, oh
Don't go fucking with my fantasy
Keep lying to me, oh (keep lying)

'Cause baby I've known lonely, yeah
Let me down now slowly (keep lying)
And tell me I'm your only
Even if it hurts

As the last notes of our final song ring through the room I look out into the crowd again. With the biggest smile on my face I speak into the microphone again "Thank you all so much for being here tonight. Amsterdam, what an incredible first show!" I blow a kiss and wave at the screaming crowd before exiting the stage and waiting for my girls to follow.

I am overwhelmed and so full of adrenaline, I feel like I could go right back out there and play for another hour. I turn towards my band as they have made their way backstage now as well and immediately start screaming and pulling them all into a big group hug.

"We did it, we just played a fantastic first show!" I say elated. We're all jumping up and down and doing happy dances, I can see it in their faces too, the joy and adrenaline of the night.

"Yes, we did babes!" Kelley shouts and pulls me into another side hug, impossible to contain her excitement.

"I love you guys so much, I'm so grateful to have you on this journey with me" I tell them after a few moments. The emotions taking over me. "Alright, Y/N is already getting soppy on us. Let's go to the green room and have a proper celebration or else there will be tears soon" Donna cackles and starts to stir me into the direction of the green room where our manager as well as part of our team and some friends are waiting for us to celebrate an incredible opening night.

"Okay okay I won't start crying just yet. I'm way too happy right now" I laugh at her and put my arm around her waist, until we reach our destination and I open the door, the other girls right behind us. As soon as we enter the room we get pulled into more hugs and congratulatory affections. Glasses of sparkling wine are being passed around the group and very quickly the room fills with chatter and laughter and it's such a warm and wonderful atmosphere.

The night went on and before we know it, we're back on the tour bus on our way to the next location. Kelley, Margot and Jasmin have made their way into the bunk beds about an hour ago. It is now 2am and I'm still sat on the little sofa on the bus, Donna next to me as we're both snuggled under a blanket.

Donna was the first person I ever really told about my dream of being a musician. I met her in high school and we became fast friends as we both loved writing songs and creating melodies. Over the years she had stuck to playing the drums, whereas I preferred the guitar and piano. As soon as the idea of forming my own band had nestled itself inside my head, I knew she would have to be a part of it. And she instantly accepted and was my main counterpart of the group. That was followed by Margot our violinist and keyboard/beat player, Jasmin our bassist and Donna's younger sister Kelley who plays main guitar.

She yawns next to me and I can feel her sitting up slowly. "Ugh, alright my love, I'm gonna go lie down now" she groans in a sleepy voice and stands up from the couch. "You coming?"

"Not yet, uhm, I still have to make a phone call...Or I might just make it a text. I don't know yet" I smile at her tiredly.

"Okay but don't be too long, we need you in excellent condition tomorrow" she winks at me and blows me a kiss before she disappears up the stairs to get to her bed.

I let out a sigh and stretch my legs out all the way onto the seat Donna has just occupied. I think back to the events of the night again and cherish this happy feeling that has settled in my chest ever since I first stepped foot on stage tonight.

With that feeling, I grab my phone and open my recent caller list. Seeing Sam's name right at the top.

I kept thinking back to what happened earlier on the bus, right before he called me. And to be honest. Sam has been on my mind all day since then. I long to talk to him and so I don't even hesitate to press his number and hold the phone to my ear.

I get hopeless the longer it rings, and once his voicemail gets activated I end the call frustrated and just stare at my phone.

"Okay, a text message it is then" I say to myself and go to open our text chain.

Hey, I just wanted to let you know tonight went really well and we're back on the bus now on our way to Brussels. I'm sorry we couldn't talk properly earlier. Give me a call later and you can tell me what you meant to say earlier? I hope you're well Sam. Good night x

Getting up from the sofa now as well, I take my phone and make my way up the stairs and into the small bathroom to get ready for bed. As I finally lie down in bed I check my phone and scroll on social media for another 10 to 15 minutes. As I put my phone down and close my eyes to let sleep take over, my last thought is on Sam. And that I hope to see a text from him or get a call first thing in the morning so we can talk and start on a positive note after these last few weeks of silence.