50. Stupid

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Bella was spiraling. Her body was consumed with rage that she tried to ignore. She did not get a wink of sleep last night, instead she paced the house and scrubbed it of anything Carl related. After all of the hard work she did to let that ugly part of her go, she is forced to bottle up her feelings and unclench her fists as if nothing is wrong. The last thing she wants is to go back to her old ways, become a robot that simply ignores the trauma. But that's not healthy (or so she's learned), she needs to embrace it and use this opportunity to grow. That was what she reminded herself of as she threw a stack of photos on top of the grill in the backyard. The neighborhood was virtually silent, most of Bella's neighbors sound asleep as they remained unaware of the girl who was on the verge of a mental breakdown. Grabbing a bottle of lighter fluid she prepared to just dump it all over the memories and light it up in flames like it never happened. Then it dawned on her how crazy she was being. The thought that one day these photos may be all she has left of Carl caused her to let out a sigh, and she put the cap right back onto the bottle.

"Damn it" The girl groaned as she stuffed the stack back into her box of memories. Looking down at her next box, her eyes settled on the teddy bear whose life was just saved. Carl gave it to her on Valentines day and ever since that day it stayed atop her bed. That was until five minutes ago when Bella dragged it out here with every intention of burning it to a crisp. She took it out of the box, tucking it beneath her arm as she uttered a few curse words. "You're safe for now Carl Jr"

By the time the Sun came up Bella found it hard to stay still. So then began her next project, which was scrubbing her whole entire house clean for some reason. She had about three hours until she had to log into her online classes and all she did was clean.
The girl was scrubbing the walls when she heard a knock at the door. She figured it was Liam, he would stop by every now and then to ask Bella for a ride when he didn't feel like walking to school. "Come in!"

Much to her surprise, Fiona walked in with a pile of clothes and a towel. "Hey Bella, sorry to bother ya. Is it cool if I take a shower here? Lip's got a drunk passed out in mine"

"Oh yeah no problem" Bella nodded, going to rest on her knees.

The woman was going to ignore it, really. She was supposed to be at her apartment building already but something about the scene before her just screamed 'manic'. Maybe it was the glazed look in Bella's eyes or the distinct smell of bleach that was so strong it burned her nostrils. She also figured this had something to do with Carl's new 'friend'. "Uh...you okay?" Fiona asked, looking around and just now realizing all of the living room furniture had been rearranged.

"I'm fine" Bella shrugged. "Why do you ask?"

The girl said it with so much sincerity that Fiona chose not to dig any further. Instead, she will just ask the one question burning in her mind. "You know anything about that blonde girl that was in my house?"

Bella wants to play dumb but she knows exactly which blonde girl they are talking about. "Some junkie your brother thinks he can fix" The teen girl shook her head, her stomach feels sick just thinking about it. "But I'll tell you one thing Fiona....she better stay the hell away from me before I knock her fucking teeth out"

"Noted" The Gallagher nodded before walking upstairs, silently reminding herself to tell V about this later.

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