Goodnight and Go [H.S.]

VI

Pushing myself up from the bed, I open up the duffel bag that I had sitting next to me on the surface and pull out my pajamas. I also grab my bag of toiletries before heading into the bathroom, and I immediately start the shower and turn it on the hottest temperature. I redo the lock to my main door since I had undone it before I step back into the bathroom and strip myself of my clothing.

Once I'm under the stream of water, I let it run over my face and my hair. I lift my hands to smooth them over the top of my hair before I begin to wash it, and thankfully, I'm already feeling a bit lighter in my chest. Showers are always something that have calmed me down in the past. Something about the water washing over you kind of feels like you're washing away the things that may be troubled, or stressed you out during the day.

Unfortunately, my mind continues to wander back to Harry and Gwen, and I wonder if my mom was in her room with her right now - telling her about the conversation we had. I knew Harry had gone home to their house for the night, and he wouldn't be seeing her again until tomorrow at the wedding. It sucks that my instinct is to want to call him.

In the past, he was that comfort I would look for after a hard day in class, or if I dealt with a shitty client at work. He was always the best at cheering me up, and bringing me back around. That's something that had fallen off within these last few years, and I've come to the conclusion that it's started to weigh on my mental health. He was always an outlet for me, an outlet that was then stripped away almost unexpectedly, and I found myself lost as to who I could confide in.

Of course I had Kieran, her and I are still extremely close, but with Harry being the one I saw almost every day while in college, I had gotten so used to him being the one for me to go to. It had just become a constant for me.

Once I finish in the shower, I step out and dry myself off. I slowly make my way through my skin care, trying to hold onto my self-care for as long as possible to help soothe me, and then I head back to the bed. I lay down, and I eye my dress that's hanging in the small closet in the room.

The last thing I want to do is have to wear that dress tomorrow. I plan on donating it right after the wedding is over. I need to so that I don't have it around to serve as a permanent reminder of the day.

I slip my eyes shut, and I try to get my mind to shut off. I know I need as much rest as possible to get through the day tomorrow, but just like the night of their engagement, I know that sleep won't come easily to me.

⋆★★⋆

"Where the fuck is Carter?" I can hear Gwen as I open the door to one of the larger suites at the hotel that my parents had booked for her last night, and then her and Harry would be returning here tonight after the wedding.

We were all meeting in here, and then we were going to head to the venue to start getting ready. At the venue they had a bridal suite and groom suite for both Gwen and Harry to have their space to get ready, and off of those were larger suites for the parties to get ready in as well. I knew that Gwen would be spending most of her time in the bridal party suite with us for hair and makeup, but I knew that once it came time to get her into her dress, she would be in the bridal suite by herself.

It surprised me when we were reviewing the details over the phone recently. I thought for sure she'd haul herself away in the bridal suite all day to really see this 'bridezilla' thing through, but she said she wanted to spend as much time with all of us as she could.

The good thing about the bridal and groom suites is that they were on complete opposite ends of the venue. There was no risk of Harry and Gwen running into each other before it was time.

I step further into the room to see all of the bridesmaids and my mother standing with Gwen, and when she catches sight of me she lets out a large huff.