Qalb-e-Sukoon

Chapter 10

"Neither do -" Denial was about to tumble out when one glance at the detective told me it would be fruitless. She was savvy enough to make out the reason behind my constant fidgeting and sweaty palms.

I was scared, and it showed. Not that fear had ever held me back.

"If he doesn't come back in 5 minutes I am going to go find him," I declared much to her annoyance.

"You will do no such thing," she frowned.

"You're not the boss of me," I snapped back.

She must have noticed the determination on my face because her voice softened. "Okay look, don't worry. He has his phone on so I can hear him," she clarified, pointing towards an earpiece concealed by her hair that I hadn't noticed before.

"He's not going to do anything that will expose him. He saw someone that we've been keeping an eye on and decided to follow him into the auto shop to see who the guy meets and if he can overhear some useful information. That's all."

Admittedly, that new information let me breathe just a tad bit easier. Still, I had more questions. "What if they catch him?"

"Then he'll say the code word and I'll go help him."

"Help how?"

"I can use both a firearm and do hand-to-hand combat. So let your imagination run wild."

Wow. I couldn't help but feel overwhelming respect for the woman sitting next to me. Beautiful, smart as a whip, and a total badass. "You're a pretty cool person," I admitted.

She glanced at me and smiled. "From what Zain tells me, you are too."

Despite the fangirling moment, something she said had caught my attention. "Zain talks about me?"

"The man doesn't shut up about you," she replied.

Perched in a car surrounded by a lively crowd, with a super cool woman by my side, while we staked out an auto shop - definitely not the expected setting for a wide grin or fluttering heart. Yet, there they were.

The grumpy man, who feigned disdain for me, couldn't seem to stop chatting about yours truly. Now, wasn't that a piece of news worth raising a toast to?

I could feel Fiza's eyes fixated on me, and braced myself for her usual teasing. That's why her solemn demeanor took me aback.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I am just puzzled by something," she shrugged. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I trust Zain with my life and more, and I know all that he has done to redeem himself, but..."

"But what?"

Her hesitation soon made sense.

"I've read all of the police reports on Zain. IG Junaid had me compile them and hand them over to the Rangers when his application was being considered by them. I just didn't think that someone who was mentioned in those reports would now have feelings for him." She paused and I recognized the genuine concern in her voice when she added, "Especially a smart, accomplished woman like you."

The smile on my face faded. The fluttering ceased, turning into the slow grinding of a heart forced to confront an ugly past. A woman like me was not supposed to fall for a man who had held her hostage, however briefly, while he threatened her friend. With all the pain I had witnessed Zain inflict on people that I had cared about, how could I have let myself see him as anything other than the villain of our stories.

Though, I suppose if the mind works in mysterious ways, the heart has no shortage of enigmas of its own.

Maybe it was the anguish reflected in his eyes when he sat alone on the cold hard floor of a prison cell, or perhaps it was a vivid memory from the shadows of his past. Whatever it was, every ounce of feminism escaped me when I tried to reconcile his past with my future.