Plans Later?

B.D

"I'll only break her heart again," his voice comes out in a whisper. "I can't bear the thought of making her suffer no more than she already has." I inhale sharply, nibbling the inside of my cheek. The house turns into the shell of his distress. "Maybe I should stay home." I frown and shake my head promptly. "I understand that all you want is to protect her. I've met many like you. Souls that never wanted to cross over because of unfinished businesses. She is yours," he averts his gaze on you. When he squints his eyes, tears immediately stream down his face.

"I need to know she will be okay," he mumbles. That's when I give him the most sincere smile I can perform. Taking both his hands in mine, I offer him a squeeze, "It will take time but she most certainly will. I promise you, I won't leave her side." Looking into my eyes, he seems to find the honestly he was looking for. Another chuckle, this time an incredulous one comes out of him. He can't wrap his head around the fact that he is dead now. "Jesus, this is just— crazy!"

"I believe there is no better way to describe it," giggling to myself, he scoffs, agreeing with me. In that moment, you stir in the sleep, mumbling some incoherent words. The sound of your voice leads both your grandpa and I to avert our focus towards you. He places a hand upon my shoulder and says, "I know she is a woman now, yet all I see is my sweet niece that laughs loudly while bouncing on my lap."

I melt at the image just offered by him. I'm sure you were the cutest child to exist: little freckles all over your cheeks, a wide smile and a contagious enthusiasm for life pictured in those beautiful eyes.
"It's perfectly normal. She will always be your child, but I promise you, I'll guard her with my life. Always," his thumb traces small patterns over my shoulder. He leans forward and says, "I don't know if it's because I'm a ghost now, but I can tell you're telling the truth." His eyes brim with emotion, and so do mine. Then I watch him get close to you. He kneels down to meet your face at the same height. I stay one step behind, pushing the tears back as much as I can.

He delicately brushes his fingertips over your forehead. You seem to feel it, as a small smile tugs at your lips. Then he leans further to place a kiss on your cheek. Your eyelids tremble a little, your eyes underneath roam back and forth. I frown a little and when your grandpa pulls away, you mumble, "Pops...need help, I'm .. Billie, stay...", you are saying incoherent words, probably enveloped in a dream that holds everything you've been feeling.

My heart cracks at the sound of your distress. Even your grandpa frowns as a sad expression darkens his features. I come up close to you and gently stroke your cheek with the back of my hand, "It's okay, babydoll. You hear me?" I coo in a pained whisper. In the meantime your grandpa has moved away. You go back to a more peaceful sleep, once I've muttered some soothing words to you. I plant a chaste kiss on the tip of your nose before facing your very upset grandfather again.

"Billie, how do I say goodbye without breaking her?", pain is invading his head and the room's atmosphere changes accordingly. "I don't think I can do this," he pauses and my heart starts drumming loudly inside my chest. I wish there was a way to make it pain free. But there really isn't. "I'm not going to tell you it won't hurt her, because that is a lie," a bitter chuckle erupts from his lips at that. It doesn't discourage me, "But I can tell you, it's the right thing to do."

He snorts and starts pacing back and forth with a nervous and tense posture. I call out his name but he ignores me, ignores you, literally on the edge. "Trust me, I know," my voice comes out firmer and stricter than intended, but it does its job because he comes to a halt and then looks at me. He appears like a child that has just been scolded by his mother. I soften my gaze, reaching a hand toward him.

"Tell her goodbye," my voice is shaking and I no longer hold back my tears. He look straight in my eyes, before shutting them. "I can't," he murmurs sadly, "Yes, you can" I insist, almost beg actually. "She is here for you, has always been... don't leave her without saying goodbye," I see him vacillate at my words. He rubs his face and lets out a guttural sound, "Tell her you love her," I insist, refusing to give up on such a thing.