Love beneath the wall: A Willy Wonka Glasgow Experience Romance

Be wary of offers that are too good to be true

Like all actors trying to get their breakthrough, Kaitlyn Work was willing to put in the extra work without complaint. And yes, she's heard every joke pertaining to her surname. Workie, Woke, Worse, Worm, and a long etc... When you are born with a somewhat unusual but perfectly plausible surname, you suffer from two problems in your daily life: Annoying repetitive jokes you've heard far too many times or they mispell it.

If having an easy-to-mispell-surname wasn't bad enough, accompanying it with an equally meddlesome given name only made the agony tenfold worse. Plenty of people screw up writing Kaitlyn's name correctly. Katelyn, Katelin, Kitelyn, etc. To pour salt into the wound, the innocent name is soon transformed into bully fodder. Didn't take too long before a harmless Kaitlyn ended up as Titty Kitty. The fact she ended up growing up to become reasonably well-endowed only made the moniker even worse.

Whether or not this background check about one of Kaitlyn's worse pet peeves in a love story about two misunderstood book characters (one of them made up from god only knows where) is important, this brief 4th wall addendum sets the tone to our story's heroine of sorts.

And so, let us visit Kaitlyn's nondescript condo somewhere in Glasgow. Where is it? How would I know? I'm just an irrational narrator that was scammed as well and wishes a refund! Just use your imagination or something!

Okay, can you imagine her home in a perfectly plausible part of the city where struggling actors reside? Good to know! Now let's see what Kaitlyn is doing. Oh! I can see her browsing her cellphone in her flat. Ads, ads, ads, junk, junk, junk. Ah, her finger has stopped doomscrolling and found something enticing in a popular job website.

An immersive Willy Wonka experience! Once in a lifetime 2 day event right here in Glasgow. Feast your eyes! A project that hopes to bring children to the magical realms of the Willy Wonka series, fun for all ages!

Among a wholesome family community of well established actors and event organizers, you will play a character from the exciting Willy Wonka book series. Some of the enchanting parts of this magical fairyland include:

Garden of sweets TM: Glittery grounds covered in delicious candy that blossoms teats (WTF? Typo?). Walk around, explore and maybe you can keep a shit (What the..?) of paper full of memories.

((Now, before we continue this totally not unprofessional job ad, Kaitlyn was already suspicious 2+2 didn't equal 5. Isn't Willy Wonka still owned by the author's family estate? It couldn't have become public domain or those Omegaverse Willy Wonka/random generic hot vampire fanfics would be selling like hot cannolli on the world's most popular ebook websites by now. One typo with hilarious results could be attributed to human error, but two with a deranged change of topic sounds more LLM hallucination than something an underpaid intern would have typed amid 6 cups of nourishing gas station coffee. But hey, Kaitlyn thinks the job sounds cool, maybe it is. Let's continue and stop interrupting so much.))

Imagination rainbow TM: Where every color is as tasty as it looks! Feast yourself and lick (please tell me this is also a typo!) the decoration on the walls and teleport to this wonderland! (Since when do generic phrases of the English language get Trademarks?)

Magic tunnel TM: A place where the ultimate limit to your imagination, is the goals you set for yourself. (Does this even make any sense? I also think it has a grammar error).

Captivate yourself with a world full of fun and funfun (Huh?) with your parents and become the child you always wanted to be! (Is this ad for the customer? Who wrote this anyways?)

By the time Kaitlyn finished reading the ad, half of her mind had agreed this seemed like the scummiest scam to have ever scammed in town. Curious, she dared check the website and found the event listed on major ticket selling platforms. That was certainly encouraging and eased some of her fears! Set to take place in the Boxed Hutt Warehouse, the place did exist on the maps and was easy to reach from her undisclosed (use your imagination kids!) flat.

Now, maybe she should have suspected something still didn't seem all that right. I mean, this event was not being announced via an acting agency, nor was her talent agent contacted. Comically illogical spelling errors were riddled on some art on the webiste. Some bloopers included dashing phrases like cartchy, pasadise or catgacating, which also raised red flags. Ah, but those sweet, sweet 500 pounds without any middlemen for just 8 hours of work seemed too good. Kaitlyn was always good with kids. They are sweet, fun and make her smile. Maybe the 48 hour deadline was very close, but memorizing a short script was doable. Even if she made minor mistakes, kids will be forgiving and will be too distracted bouncing around and driving their parents crazy to notice.

And so, Kaitlyn replied to the ad, signed her contract, and was ready to perform the act of her lifetime!