Maybe this is where I belong...

Chapter 27.

We stayed like that for a good while, until Ami decided to break the silence that I hoped she would.

"I'm sorry."

As if my heart couldn't have broken more. I lifted her head up and cupped her face, making sure her eyes were fixated on mine.

"Don't you ever apologize for expressing your feelings, love. They are valid and you can always come to me or mama or anyone in the house. We are here for you baby. We want to hear what's going on in that beautiful mind of yours." I smiled.

"I don't know what's going on with me," Amelia started, "I have all these emotions and I don't know how to sort them in my head. I feel like I'm going insane. Every time I close my eyes, I-" She shudders and lets a tear roll down her face, "I see Patrick on top of me. I see my parents hitting me. I can't get these images out of my head. I can't shut them off, no matter how hard I try. I don't know how to go on. I'm only 13 years old and my life seems over. There's no coming back and healing from this, mom." She let out a whimper and all I could do in that moment was hug her tighter.

"Ami girl," I started, making sure to keep her eyes on mine, "We are going to get through this. I'm not going to sugarcoat it, it's going to be a long haul. But good things take time. You will heal. You are so young, my love. You have so much life ahead of you, a life with Mama and I, and a life with your siblings and your friends." Her eyes went down when I said "Mama" and "siblings" which makes me worried and uneasy about how she feels being with us.

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"Lena, it was nothing like we have ever seen before. She was inconsolable, I couldn't get her to calm down for thirty minutes." I said to Lena on the phone in the hospital hallway. Amelia finally fell asleep after tossing and turning for a while. It was late, almost midnight.

"Oh my god, I don't know how you didn't break down yourself, Stef. If I saw her like that, I-" She took a big sigh, "I would have lost it." She admitted.

"I know, love. I know," I responded, "The doctors are discharging her at 10 tomorrow morning. Are the last touches on her room finished?" The kids thought it would be a nice idea to redecorate the downstairs bedroom for Ami since she won't be able to get up the stairs for a while.

"Uh yeah, Mariana and Jesus finished putting it all together after school today." Lena started, "Stef, did you talk to Ami about school yet?"

Lena and Monte had a conversation yesterday about Amelia coming back to school when she is fully healed, and because she has been out of school for so long, she will have to repeat eighth grade. She was just starting to make friends in her grade and she is going to be heartbroken to leave them all behind.

"No I figured that it would be best to do that with you, honey." I responded "Especially with everything that happened today, our girl deserves a bit of a break right now don't you think?"

Lena sighed, "Yeah I know you're right. I also thought it might be a good idea to get in contact with a few therapists, specifically ones who specialize in child trauma. I'm gonna call a few offices tomorrow."

"That's a great idea babe, but ah, do you think Amelia will be open with them? She's already so closed off with us. I can't imagine she'd be more open with them." I looked over through the hospital room window and saw Amelia sleeping. She was resting, but definitely not in peace. Her face looked sad and uneasy. Then I saw a single tear roll from her cheek. My sweet, sweet girl cannot even gain peace in her sleep.

"Stef, she needs a professsional to talk to and work through her trauma. We can only do so much as her moms. They have tools and resources that we don't have access to. I really think we should try it out." Lena pleaded.