new girl - leah williamson

chapter 12: don't

leah's pov~

i walk down the tunnel, the rest of the team still on the pitch making their way to the changing rooms.  from behind the door i hear a lot of things being thrown about, kicked, along with some other things landing on the floor.

i quickly open the door, it's sophia. obviously it's sophia. she doesn't show it, she doesn't show many emotions except for anger, although occasionally i have seen it in her eyes, a small twinkle of happiness.
and that one night, the day after the opening game. she opened up to me. since then, she won't open up, she's been cold. i catch her eyes staring, but she doesn't act on it. she's pushing away all her feelings, again.
i hate putting blame on people, but it's the teams fault. they pissed her off again, she shouted and had a go at them, much like she did a while ago. they've been pushing her away again. causing her to push everyone away, including me.
i have seen her going to the sessions, she stays for a bit, but ends up storming out every time.
she's breaking, all this pressure, she's bound to break soon.

her back is facing me, her body turned away. she mutters something under her breath, running her hands through her untied hair. her boots are on the other side of the room, which she threw in anger, and some bottles are pushed off the table. enough for me to notice that she's done it.
hopefully sarina and the team will think it's the team just being messy.

"sophia?" i say, walking a little closer. she faces me slightly, pausing.
she ignores me, turning her head away again. i walk closer, grabbing her wrist.

"fuck off leah" she says, trying to pull her hand out of my grip. i keep my hand tight.

"no sophia, you have to control yourself. "
she pulls her wrist out of my grip

"i don't" she says, not meeting my eyes with hers. 

"sophia.." i say, reaching for her arm

"no leah- don't, don't touch me" she stutters. normally she's just mad, but i can see in her eyes tears welling. she's upset? i didn't actually know she could feel upset.
i walk closer, pushing her body against the wall. she breaths heavily and fast, jesus she's really pissed.

"get off!"
sophia says loudly. her gaze finally meets mine, her face is angry. she's hot when she's angry. but she is way past angry.
she's fucking fuming.
it scares me a little, but i know she won't hurt me. i hope she won't. i hope the little feelings she has for me will stop her.
i know she's in pain. not physically. i can tell she's holding in all her emotions, she's not showing any giveaways to how she's feeling. she lets all her emotions out in one, when she gets angry. i've noticed it the last few days. she's been colder towards everyone, her face always emotionless.

"por el amor de mierda" for fucks sake. she whines slightly. i don't know what she's saying, but it's hot. but i shouldn't be thinking of that right now.

she pushes me off of her, walking to go sit down in her cubby. i get her boots from the other side of the room, along with some water and hand it to her. she ignores me.
i sit down next to her, untying the laces and loosening them, ready for her to put on when she will stop being so stubborn. i get shes angry but this girl is fucking fuming. i know she can't help it, but she needs to try learn how. she's already gotten a yellow, which is pushing it for sarina to keep her on.
she's reckless, pinging off shots from the edge of the box, dribbling through the whole team.
she pushes the other players if they speak to her, she needs to learn to calm down.

everyone enters the room, and sophia starts redoing her ponytail. i turn my attention to sarina, who has started her speech.

"okay girls, it's been a really tough game, but sophia is breaking their back line, they're starting to crack.
we can't back down, we need to have more energy, more passion and more drive for this win. i know we can do this, it's wether you're willing to put in your all for this. "
i really admire sarina, she has a way with words that no one i know has.