𝕭𝖆𝖚𝖉𝖔𝖚𝖎𝖓: 𝕿𝖍𝖊 6𝖙𝖍 𝕬𝖗𝖙𝖍𝖚𝖗𝖎𝖆𝖓 𝕽𝖔𝖒𝖆𝖓𝖈𝖊𝖘

I

"But he was so afraid of displeasing her (who would have been overjoyed) that he preferred to suffer without her than have her against her will." - Chrétien de Troyes

*Hefty chapter ahead~*

Baldwin's POV

Here across the sandy horizon I stand ready. Half my men on my right and half my men on my left. The Lord our God watches over me, whether it be because my time is near or because he wishes to grant me success again, this war is indifferent to the one I had won at sixteen. Only that, I may not survive. I struggle to stay awake on my horse, goodness, must I be this weak? Just one last time.

Here he returns, over a hundred thousand men at his ready. I pray they all forgive me, I have failed them as a King, my men do not make up half his so this is considered a suicide. But then I remember the strongest weapon we carry.

The cross.

It holds my strength, my will and wisdom, my love and my soul.

As long as it stands,

I shall not fall, because if I do, Jerusalem will fall with me.

I am Jerusalem.

We charge. The overlapping sounds of the thundering galloping, men yelling and my heart thumping all together like the chaos of Babylon. I remember her.

Her voice is heavenly.

Like honey filled with honest words. I think of her but my mind tells me. Focus. my heart disobeys.

God first, I remember. Even if this war was never because of religion but greed, the hunger for land and power, my faith remains unchanged. They can't win against God. The swords swing and whip blood in every direction, some men falling around me as mine clashes with Saladin's. He retracts and so do I, my breathing is already rapid and hoarse.

Ten men and ten over. I slaughter them mercilessly. The blood of the fallen has dressed me in guilty red. I shall pray for them.

I am Jerusalem

I manage my horse as I sit slumped, my weight feels heavier and I can no longer keep awake. Saladin's hardened stare is firm. For a moment the riot around me falls inaudible.

"As-salamu alaykum." He taps his forehead as he speaks. I do not respond. I cannot respond as everything seems to rise around me.

Or am I falling?

*Ideal time to play and loop song*

Zahara's POV

"Please eat, your food will be distasteful if it's cold." Tiberias pleads for the fourth time. It's not that she is being stubborn, her mind is currently in a trance. She does not understand what she has done to deserve this.

"The first time I feel loved? And it is simply ripped away from me... just like that.." Huffing, her throat aches from dryness as she nibbles her chapped lips. He does not respond. She is hurting and he knows both that fact and the feeling of pouring your heart into a shredder. She remained seated at the window of a small home hidden well outside of Jerusalem. It belongs to Tiberias. It is his childhood home. She looks upon the portrait of a happy family and suddenly grows bitter. God must be mocking me. I know I was not made to love, you do not need to remind me. She peels the dry skin off her lips mindlessly, most the days spent by the windowsill, hoping to see him riding towards them uninjured. Tiberias has to drag her from there, to make her go outside and sit under the palm trees.