new girl - leah williamson

chapter 5: fucking hell

leah's pov~

we are all sat down on the bus, the energy is high and i can tell everyone is relieved and happy. we got a huge crowd and had an amazing opening game, all thanks to sophia.
speaking of the devil, here she is. walking onto the bus, a smile on her face.
accompanied by sarina. she walks past all of us, making her way to the other musketeers. her hair wet, fucking hell.
everyone cheers and slaps her back as she walks past, proud of her. she squeals and giggles, clearly full of joy.
she sits down with alessia and ella, two seats facing eachother. they congratulate her.

"how about we all get hammered tonight?" sophia says loudly as she spreads her legs out on the seat next to her.

"shh" ella says, pointing to sarina.

"how will we, we aren't allowed off of campus" alessia asks.

"we can sneak out"

"yeah as if, i'm not getting kicked off of this camp" ella replies

"good point. " sophia says, rolling her eyes, slouching back into the chair.
i try my hardest to block their voices out, but it's hard when they're constantly giggling, singing and chatting constantly. i here sophia's bright voice and giggles above the rest.

"god i wish we had some vodka" sophia says, laughing. both the girls agree. normally after a good win, semis, and finals they give us beer. i'm sure if i asked sarina she could get us some to celebrate sophia's debut.
my eyes keep on straying over to sophia. she looks fidgety, clearly fustrated in some way. she keeps on adjusting how she's sitting.
i brush it off, not thinking to much of it.

basically everyone is asleep. i look around trying to see if anyone else is awake. i look over to sophia, who's wiping a tear from her eyes.
i have never seen her cry.
she isn't crying but there was a tear on her cheek. her eyes are glossy. an expression on her face i havent seen before. she still looks as pretty as ever.
sophia tightens her ponytail and stands up, grabbing her phone and moving to the front.

the coach journey is soon over. i watch as sophia stands up, the hood of her england hoodie over her head. somethings up with her.
i've never seen her without a smile, smirk, or and angry face. she looks numb, like it's taking everything in her to not show emotions. i don't doubt that's what is happening.

sophia's pov~

today has been a literal dream come true. it really does hurt though, i pretend it doesn't but it does.
i have no one to make proud. although i'm constantly trying to impress my parents, i've given up on it. they'll never be proud of me. what's the point anymore.
lessi and ella are say across from me, and on the long journey back they've already fallen asleep. only leah is awake, and i can here a few voices at the back of the coach.

my mind won't stop.
it won't shut off.
i'm trying to block out the emotions, they keep coming back. i know it's not good to always do this, it normally ends up with me blowing up on someone. i can't help it. it's all i've ever known. push the bad thoughts back.
that's all i'll ever do.
my mind starts calming, all my emotions becoming numb. what's the point in doing all this when your parents don't even care. they haven't spoken to me in months. not a conversation, not a congratulations. who do i have to make proud. i have no one.
i feel a tear run down my cheek. i didn't even notice. i'm not crying. a single tears running down my face. i quickly wipe it away. i can't remember the last time i cried. i blink away the tears, my vision slightly blurred.

i look over and see leah, her eyes locking with mine.
i look away.
shit. shit. shit.

i get up, deciding to move to a spare set of seat at the front. i'm just trying to get away from leah.