𝐓𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 | 𝑺.𝑺𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒛𝒖𝒈𝒂𝒘𝒂

𝟏𝟗 | 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐅𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐬

"I'll........" her voice shakes, before clearing her throat. "I'll resume my position at the Butterfly Mansion, and continue aiding people. I think that might be what brings me security, and yes....I've got Kanao still. Thank you, Hayami...."

Tears roll down her cheeks, with the most genuine smile curling upon her lips.

".....I'll keep your words to heart."

Though she spoke those very words to my face, deep down she wasn't being genuine. The facade she puts up was clear to me, but all I could do was not push any further. If I kept hollering, it would only make things worser than it already is.  

~*~

Walking towards the steps of my brother's estate, my mind was spaced out after taking some time to myself.

The funeral ended quietly shortly after Shinobu departed, following the rest who honoured her death and whispered their prayers. Those who just stood there accepting it, and those who were furious that an Upper Moon dared to harm their own. This was our job, we all had to accept it and bear the burden, by picking up the blade.

Finding myself slipping my sandals at the front door, the sound of glass shattering and something hard being slammed snaps me back to reality. 

In alarm assuming it was intruder inside, my heart rate spikes up quickly. Taking off my sandals quickly I swiftly rush down the verandah, my hands gripping the fusuma doors and opened them abruptly. However, my eyes slowly widen when something flies past grazing my cheek, almost knocking me off balance. 

"GET THE HELL OUT!!!!!"

The state he was in was beyond my comprehension, his eyes bloodshot and filled with rage and grief. His hair was tousled than how it was this morning at the funeral, his Kimono was disheveled. 

"Ryuji......" my voice barely a whisper, in concern.

"I SAID, GET THE HELL OUT!" His yells angrily, before he throws a pillow towards me. My hand quickly caught it, before dropping it beside refusing to step out. I couldn't, my feet felt heavy like it was stuck to the floor.

The state of the room was a mess, with shattered glass scattered on the floor. My vase of Orchids were shattered into pieces, the flowers torn to shreds and the water staining the tatami floor. Our small table flipped upside down, and pages from a few books been ripped out from the spine of the book. It was completely wrecked, and my stress began to pile on the more he kept yelling and cursing at me.

"Big brother, please?" I step forward, stepping carefully over the glass. "I know it's--"

"No, don't you dare try consoling me!!" he points his finger towards me, his face red and fuming with his cheeks stained with tears. His breath was heavy and shaky, "My love, my life was killed!!!! By a damn fucking Upper Moon!!!!!"

"Ryuji, just breath," My voice tries to remain steady, but I couldn't imagine the pain he's going through right now. His hands were bleeding from what I assume, the shattered glass and punching through one of pieces of furniture. 

"Breath? Are you telling me what to do?!" He retorts, storming towards me with his towering figure. "What you say won't make me feel better! She's gone! You won't understand! You're too young to understand the amount of love, I have for her! She's...g-gone....." his voice trails off shaky, stumbling back from the grief. 

Offended I felt by his words, it resulted me feeling this nagging ache to my chest.

"I may not understand what you're going through," My voice came out a bit shakily, feeling some glass dig into my feet. "But I do know damn well, how it feels to lose someone! You don't get to cut me off, and bear it all alone--!"