10 Years Apart (ongoing)

The Gossip (Jennie POV)

It's lunch time and I'm drafting a message that I want to send to lisa. Suddenly I heard my employees talking about a celebrity couple and their age differences. Seems like a hot topic. I'm curious so I stand in front of my office door just to eavesdrop on their conversation. They seem to debate about it. "Nooo, but it's really weird! How can she want to be with someone that is so old" one of my workers let out her thoughts before the other one responded. "Girl, I agree! It's totally absurd. I bet that girl only wants his wealth". Suddenly it makes me think about my situation with lisa. It's kinda similar. The only difference is we're both a girl. Which makes our relationship more strange. I'm sure society would be negative if they know about me having a young side chick. I feel low cause I get carried away with all of this.

I want to know about my employees opinion regarding that sensational couple, so I decided to get out of my office. "So you guys think they shouldn't be together?". I asked waiting for them to speak up. They smile at me, it seems like they enjoy this gossip. "I don't know but it just felt wrong". Amy let out her thoughts before Dani added something up. "That girl is only 23 you know, she is so young like, in that age she should explore the world. If I was her, I would take time to just enjoy before I could settle down". None of them on my side. I have a different opinion. Maybe because my position right now is similar to that odd pair. So I'm pretty biased in favor of that couple. But come to think of it, Dani was right. That girl is too young to settle down, she needs more time to experience a lot of stuff. "Besides I'm not sure if she is mature enough to settle down. Too young. Really" Dani added. For some reason I feel uncomfortable hearing their thoughts. They sound negative.

I can't get their comments out of my mind. It makes me overthink. I started to check the celebrity couple on the internet and read some comments from people. Sad to know, most of them didn't seem to be on the same page as me. It makes me uneasy when they comment on something like pedophiles and this is like an act of grooming. Everyone seems to criticize that male actor. And there are also comments saying that the girl is there only for his wealth. I felt like this is really too much. The society literally acts like they know what's the best. Eventually it became hot news everywhere. People are talking about it and I hardly find someone who supports that couple. Honestly, this stuff is affecting me. I'm ashamed. I mean if people know about affairs that I have with lisa, I would get a mass of hate too. Ella might be embarrassed and disappointed with me. I try to remember how long I have been with lisa. And it's actually almost 3 months. Maybe I need some time to think. So purposely I distanced myself away from lisa for a whole week. I need to have a clear mind before I can confront her and talk about us.

A week has passed. The hot news is slowly gone. I think it's the right time to confront lisa, so I inform her that I want to see her today. That night I brought her to my private villa for discussion. I'm actually trying to gather my strength to let her know that we need to stop. I have made up my mind, I want to put this to the end. I can't do it anymore cause I'm afraid we might get caught. Our fate would probably end up like that celebrity couple if someone knew. I can't afford to see lisa and my daughter hurting, especially by a mass hate from our society. I think this is the best way for both of us. So the moment I got courage, I told lisa. I told her that we can no longer be together and it has to stop. Upon hearing my confession, she's sobbing hard. I'm crushed as soon as I see her reaction. That's not all, I'm completely shocked by the moment she reveals that she already fell in love with me. This shouldn't be happening cause at the end it's gonna make both of us suffer. I can't stand watching her bawling her eyes out. It makes me feel guilty and I'm torn apart. But I can't keep doing this too. It will be more hurtful cause her feelings will get deeper and she will get emotionally attached to me. So I gotta put this to the end. Before things get serious I need to stop all of this mess.

But it was hard to convince lisa cause she kept insisting not to let go. I saw her panicking and it seems like she's having a hard time accepting my decision. It makes me scared cause she looks suffocating. "Two months, give us two months. After that I promise, it's the end". She begged. It makes me think for a while whether I should give us another two months. Somehow I can't stand watching her suffer in front of me. She looks like a whole mess. I never saw this side of her. She looks fragile. Guilty tripping over me. If only I didn't let her get close to me since the very beginning, this won't happen. But it's too late. Somehow the more I think about it, the more I realise that I was being unfair. Never once have I asked her opinion ever since we were together. Now it's clear that I was being selfish the whole time. So I make up my mind. I grant her wish. Two more months and after that we're done.

--

I was doing my work in my home office. It's in the middle of the night. I couldn't sleep after what had happened between me and lisa earlier in my villa. So I try to distract myself by being busy. I look at the clock it's half past 2. Surprisingly out of nowhere, I received a notification from lisa. Apparently she can't sleep too. I decided to read her text.

- are you still awake? -

Her mind must be thinking about what had happened earlier. She rarely texts me this late. It's so unusual. I feel bad cause I made her suffer today. We only have a couple of months left. So I think it would be better if we fill it with positive energy. I replied to her text right away. I told her that I'm doing my job in my home office. And also I asked her if she wanted to do a video call. I'm doing this to ease the tension in her head. Soon we have facetime. I placed my phone next to my desktop while I'm typing something on my computer. "why are you still awake?" I asked as I looked at the screen of my phone. Her eyes look swollen. I know it's the effect after crying too much at my villa. It makes me feel sorry. "I can't sleep. You're still wide awake too" she told. Her voice sounds tired. "Yeah, I got something urgent that needs to be done" I answered. But it was a lie. My mind is actually in a fucking maze. I'm trying to figure out how should I act to lisa now. I can't look at her the same after her confession.

"Can I see you tomorrow? We only have 2 months left". She asked.