Safe In Your Energy ✨

Chapter 12: Close Enough To Hurt

Fantasia Pov

This can't be happening. Why didn't I just go with my first mind and tell her. Or even better just not have gone at all. It wasn't even worth it I began to sob I can't leave things like this I just can't but I couldn't pull myself together as the tears fall uncontrollably I was hesitant on going upstairs I'd never seen her this way, but I also didn't want to leave things on these terms I wanted her to see that despite what's going on I was still gonna fight for us.

I let out a deep sigh, regardless of my intentions I knew she was hurt and I was wrong. My pride was no match for how I felt for her. I couldn't just walk away and leave things broken. Even if she doesn't forgive me I need her to know everything. I had no idea exactly how much she heard but I wanted to come clean.

I wipe my eyes finding the courage to head upstairs my heart pounding fast. I had no idea what I was gonna say to her but I was determined not to let her go to bed mad at me. I try to compose myself before entering her room my eyes fill with tears as I find her laying on the bed crying on her pillow. How could I have done this to her?

My poor baby was laying there crying her eyes out because of something I did I thought seeing her teary eyed in the car was bad. This was a complete nightmare and it was hard to stomach. I cared for her deeply, hurting her was hurting me and I immediately begin to regret my decisions again.

Taraji .... my soft voice manages to call out between sniffles.

"Get out Fantasia , Just go" !

Baby please just let me explain

"Explain what how you lied to me Fantasia how could you hurt me like this"... She sits up to face me her eyes red and puffy from all the crying. I walk closer to her dropping to my knees before her placing my hands in hers.

Look at me please....

Taraji I swear it wasn't my intentions to hurt you I really wanted to tell you this morning but I didn't know how you would respond. You gotta believe me ! I knew right then that very sentence was going to backfire as it parted my lips.

She chuckles. "Believe you"? Fantasia I never took you for someone who would hurt me like this. As far as your intentions Fantasia that's beside the point and that fact that you didn't mean any harm yet still proceeded to do the very thing you knew was wrong shows me you're a little too careless and I can't deal with someone who doesn't stop to think about how their actions affect me.

Taraji it wasn't like that at all I ran into him at the club last night on my way out the bathroom . We didn't speak much because I told him I was there with my friends and needed to get back, he texted me this morning saying we really needed to talk. I only went because we haven't spoken since the break up I just left without saying a word. I thought we both could use some closure well him more than me but still. He's my past and I plan on keeping him there.

She scoffs, "He texted you this morning" ? So you were texting him while laying next to me This just keeps getting worse.... and your past huh ? Well if he's your past why is he present messing up your future! She fans me away before shouting .

"Fantasia just get the fuck out" !

No Raji please, I begin to cry again we gotta fix this Baby I can't lose you , I confess in the mist of sobbing.

I know she was the one hurting but I just wanted her comfort in the moment. For her to tell me we could fix this. I wrap my arms around her in an attempt to hold her kissing her all over her face. As we both cry together.

She softens up some and I take that as a sign that I was getting through to her. Her eyes meet mine but all I  saw was sadness I wanted so desperately for the ability to go back in time and change things. I nervously caress her cheek staring deep into her eyes I'm sorry baby I whisper planting a soft deep kiss on her lips.

Kissing me back before leaning back in the bed sideways as we lay there close, side by side her hands met my face and she rubs my cheek her eyes still locked with mine. I kiss her hand before moving to kiss her lips again. She closes her eyes and a tear drop falls landing on my nose. This was the worst feeling ever.

I just wanted to make her feel good make her feel better just show her in some way just how apologetic I truly was. I lay her on her back pulling her tshirt dress up discovering she had no panties on. I begin to kiss between her thighs kissing my way to her core. I wrap my tongue around her pearl prepared to make her body feel good.

She begins to softly moan her body arched forward and her head titled back. As I slowly yet passionately tongue kissing her pussy . I just wanted to please her. Maybe if I made her body explode that could ease some of the pain and anger she had towards me. I was desperate I didn't know what else to do.

Taraji sits up sobbing again as she closes her legs pushing my head back.

"Fantasia No" ! She screams . "You can't fix this with sex" !

She breaks down crying all over again. "You need to get out" ! She was screaming between the tears and I knew she was serious tears begin to fall down my face as I pick myself up off the floor I head towards the door turning around to look at her once more. She lays back down and turns her back to me balling up on the bed crying on her pillow yet again.

I couldn't take it I finally gave in and just decide to give her some space to process everything. I wasn't giving up. This kind of vibe we have only comes once in a life time and I wasn't letting it go that easily I don't care how long it took I was gonna fight for us.

I really am sorry Taraji I somehow manage to utter between sobbing myself. I close the door behind me I could hear her crying even harder I bow my head in shame understanding why she was crying that way .... I didn't just hurt her

I broke her heart ...... 💔

What yall think ?
You think Taraji is being too hard on Fantasia?
Should she forgive her ?