Then Came Fame (Leah Williamson)

Leah: The Beginning of Perfection?

May 2021

Sitting in the nosebleed seats at the Brit awards was an experience. For starters, it took Alex and I at least forty minutes to stop declaring how high up we were, at least an hour to have the courage to move from our seats, and at least an hour and a half to feel safe enough to dance.

Alex spent most of her night fussing over Taylor Swift who was sat right beside the stage, a small blonde dot to us that really could've been anyone. I, on the other hand, was silently hoping she didn't win the Song of the Year award she was nominated for.

It was no secret that I'd been going through a bit of a transition period recently. Despite not being well known, the small group of fans I did have were quick to notice when my relationship ended, talking about it on social media and gossip sites. It had been hard for my ex and I to get through the initial separation, always tempted to fall back into something that wasn't serving us anymore because it was easier to be with someone you spent so much time with than navigate through being apart while also being together.

It was no surprise to anyone that I used music to get me through it. I found song after song that I related to and played them on repeat, knowing that someone else had felt the way I did now. It was during one of those sessions of endless Spotify scrolling that I came across Aria's song. It was released the day before I came across it, and it felt like fate that I had found it. It wasn't just called Healing, it described the process of my own healing so accurately that I wondered if she had been inside my head when she wrote it.

I tried to search around the room for her as we waited for the show to start, but aside from Taylor Swift (thanks to her screaming fans every time she stood up), it was impossible to spot anyone. I wondered if she hadn't came, if she was still healing. I guess part of me tried to put myself in her shoes, she was nominated against the best in the industry, artists with millions of followers, even if I thought she deserved it, I could understand why she might not think she did.

The cheer that left my mouth when her name was announced was nothing short of fangirl behaviour. Alex widened her eyes at my sudden outburst, laughing at my drunkenness which was really just fuelled by the strange connection I'd formed with a girl who didn't even know I existed, all because of words she'd put into a song.

She glowed when she spoke of her mum, eyes pooling with tears as she recalled the sacrifices her mum had made to make sure she had a safe, happy home. She spoke of her friends, new and old, present and absent, and how they had shaped her life. I felt that. Over the years, I'd lost touch with so many teammates I thought I'd be friends with forever. There wasn't any animosity, life just got in the way, but I'd thank them in a speech like hers too.

That night would become the spark that lit a slight obsession in me. Over the next while, I would watch her go on a journey as I went on my very own one too, both in directions. Well, with more similarities than I would've liked.

***
July 2021

Life continued to grow for me, the progress was slow but I knew it would be worth it in the end. As we stood in the airport waiting to go to Tokyo, I couldn't help but purchase a magazine that had Aria on the cover. It promised a lengthy interview on the inside, one that had been documented almost immediately after her Brit Award win.

"She's amazing, isn't she?"

Georgia nodded in the direction of the magazine in my hands, her own eyes turning to heart shapes the longer she looked at the cover.

"Yeah, she's decent."

I didn't dare tell Georgia just how decent I thought Aria was. I didn't understand it, I couldn't quite grasp the connection I felt to her without even knowing her. It was one three minute song and a two minute speech at the Brit Awards, and suddenly I was captivated by someone I didn't even know.