coming undone! | gayeon

chapter 18

Gunil nodded.

"That's right. I hope that these rumours will stop after we upload the video. I no longer want to feel guilty for keeping it a secret," Jiseok wanted to scoff. Gunil wasn't this type of a person, he knew him well. He experienced it on his own skin. "I know I can't do much so I want to at least clear Jiseok's good name."

It definitely wasn't going to help Jiseok much but he restrained himself from saying it out loud.

"I'd be thankful if you stopped spreading these false accusations," Gunil went on like he was the right person to say it. Jiseok fixed his eyes on Jooyeon, his arm was still resting on the wall and all he did at that moment was smile faithfully. Jiseok knew this smile, he knew this gaze, this aura, he knew everything about this kind of Jooyeon's body reaction.

He wanted Jiseok to believe in the unbelievable and just do whatever he had to in order to withstand the moment. And Jiseok always obeyed. He had nothing better to do anyway.

But he didn't smile back, he didn't want to reveal that Jooyeon was there. He looked down at the floor and then at the camera suddenly realising it was almost over.

He was about to say goodbye to some bothering thoughts going on in his head, some people would believe the video and stop haunting him. He could even show the video to his family. Maybe they would stop despising him or at least acknowledge that Jiseok wasn't an obnoxious paedophile and rapist.

"I, Goo Gunil, am the reason why it all came undone, I spread all these rumours due to my stupidity and jealousy. I want to put an end to these lies, so that's why I'm making this video. I'm the one to blame," he said. His voice was very firm, Jiseok managed to only beam at the camera and nod his head more automatically than planned. "I want to apologise for it to everyone watching this video and mostly, to you, Jiseok."

He turned towards him. Jiseok felt his heartbeat slowing down. He blinked hard. By Jungsu's reaction, he knew it wasn't in that damned script. Gunil faced him. He said sorry. He wanted to apologise to Jiseok. He looked into Jiseok's eyes and repeated the three firm words: I am sorry.

But the thing was that he wasn't sorry at all.

He said it only because Jiseok was forced to respond. He was right in front of the camera, he couldn't not accept his words, they would have to record it all over again and he did not want that.

Gunil was still the same.

"Thank you," he found himself saying. Thank you. He had never heard anything as bitter as this sentence. Gunil nodded, looking back at the camera.

And Jiseok's heart felt like it was being squeezed. It was being crushed. Mercilessly.

Whatever Gunil said after that moment Jiseok didn't remember. His words blurred out on the edges, they didn't even manage to reach Jiseok's ears. They were too muffled. All Jiseok could think about was how efficiently Gunil worked. He was smart.

It was also the moment it hit him how mighty he was. He managed to fool Jiseok. And now he was trying to fool everyone watching the video. Gunil was going to play the little lost boy that didn't mean anything while accusing Jiseok of raping someone. He tried to soften their hearts by smiling from ear to ear.

I'm sorry, I should have been the one you all hate... I am truly sorry, I was the one who said that Jiseok raped a fucking minor... but I didn't mean that, you all know me haha, I was just jealous, I never meant any of that. I was so jealous I couldn't take it. I should have suffered then—just feeling sorry for myself because nothing was working out for me... I am sorry Jiseok, hope you will finally forgive me. I am so poor, pathetic, nasty, worst, unimportant, cruel... forgive me... please...