𝗖𝗮𝗿𝗮 𝗺𝗶𝗮̀ | 𝗝𝘂𝗷𝘂𝘁𝘀𝘂 𝗸𝗮𝗶𝘀𝗲𝗻 𝗔𝗨

𝐐 𝐮 𝐞 𝐫 𝐞 𝐧 𝐜 𝐢 𝐚

𝐐 𝐔 𝐄 𝐑 𝐄 𝐍 𝐂 𝐈 𝐀

𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒔 𝒂𝒕 𝑯 𝒐 𝒎 𝒆

ɪ ɴ ᴛ ʀ ᴏ ᴅ ᴜ ᴄ ᴛ ɪ ᴏ ɴ

𝙁𝙤𝙧

𝗦 𝗔 𝗞 𝗜

(𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧)

"𝑯𝒐𝒎𝒆, 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕?"
Actually growing up feels like I was 12 two days ago
I've been 15 for years and 10 seems a little bit too young wasn't i 10 a few months ago?
My sister and I are still 5 and 8, I'm closer to 18 then being a baby becoming an adult has always been my dream so that I could leave this place as soon as possible.

I never got to be a kid but at the same I never grew past 5 if that makes sense? Whatever I say it never makes sense to people, my father says i need to be in a mental hospital instead of being around normal human beings haha what a joke these people consider themselves 'normal people', these are the last people you'd think of doing anything wrong or suspicious but that's just a cover up of our
D -O -L -L -H -O -U -S -E
Here everything goes with rules until the clock hits 10 pm,it's the time when our play actually starts.

I want to talk to my mom, sit in her lap, look into her eyes and tell her she's the most disgusting person I've ever met besides my father oh I almost forgot to mention my brother.
The weeks are going too slow, an entire year passed i didn't even realised I want to decide everything for myself and at the same time I don't, I want someone's opinion on my actions I want someone's encouraging words for my actions, I want someone to decide for me, i need someone to tell me what I exactly need to do.

Like I love spring, I want someone to remind me of the spring, Like I don't like physical touch but If the right one did it suddenly doesn't bother me that much
Like someone's presence that would make me feel alive
Like someone who I'll fall in love with the first second I see and then the 2nd second when he looks in my eyes like no other soul could make such a great pair with mine, I want someone to see straight through my lies.

I think love isn't a privilege for someone who's heart stopped beating but somehow they're still alive
Like one time I ate 11 paracetamol pills and the next day I was fit and fine like nothing happen, I wake up everyday and be like 'the fuck I did a overdose last night how am I still alive?'
Then I have to go to school...
Like the one time I passed out in the bathroom from exhaustion and literally I mean literally no one. No one came to the bathroom at any fucking hour of the night?!
The next morning was like
'well this isn't hell it's just my bathroom'.

-𝑆𝑎𝑘𝑖-

-14 July 2026-
𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒐𝒏𝒆, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒏𝒐 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒄𝒂𝒎𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒐, 𝑵𝒐𝒘 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 . 𝑰 𝒂𝒎 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅, 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒕 .
𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒉𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒂𝒕 𝒎𝒆, 𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒉𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒇𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒆
𝑰𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒉𝒐𝒎𝒆.

𝐈 𝐌 𝐈 𝐒 𝐒 𝐘 𝐎 𝐔

𝐶𝑎𝑟𝑎 𝑚𝑖𝑎̀

-???

I closed the journal
"Ah reading my old journals always takes me back to the old days, Don't worry past me Saki I'm watching you over from here."
And closed her eyes and it all begins.

❀❀❀❀❀❀

My sister once told me when a boy loves you truly he will preach you like a religion And celebrate you like you're a gift of god.
Well then where's the boy, the missing of teenage love isn't the only thing that's been missing from my life but at the end of the day I'm only 15.

ᴛʜɪs ғғ ɪs ɪɴsᴘɪʀᴇᴅ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ғғs, sᴏɴɢs,ᴀɴɪᴍᴇs ᴀɴᴅ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɴᴏᴛ

𝒦𝒶𝓁𝒶𝓃𝓀 𝓃𝒽𝒾,𝒾𝓈𝒽𝓆 𝒽𝒶𝒾 𝓀𝒶𝒿𝒶𝓁 𝓅𝒾𝓎𝒶♡︎

*An*- For those who have been lone for so long that they look for love on pages.
And that was the introduction for saki......
Btw, saki is you, you can imagine her however you like i didn't wanna write it as y/n because then I'll have to change my tabs everything i write y/n so that's why

✨Remember to drink water and you're worth it even though I can't say the same for myself...

-7:04Am
17/02/24
-𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔