Hasta-prāpya-stabaka-namito bāla-Mandāra-vṛkṣaḥ

Chapter Thirty-Six

Rehana nudged Nikhil as the door to Farhad's bedroom opened. "Let's go." With Nikhil's hand on Mandar's shoulder and Rehana taking Pallavi's hand, they quietly led the pair to the living room and sat down facing each other.

"When Farhad realized that he was gay, he wasn't ready to tell us," Gulshan informed them gently. "We were paying attention, and making sure he heard our acceptance of anyone else who was out and proud, but he was at the age when children want their privacy. If we had rushed in to tell him what we guessed about his secret thoughts, would he have felt relieved, or would he have felt exposed as different from other boys, and tried to deny it? We waited. Then, one day, Farhad looked at us and we looked back at him; he blushed and smiled and we smiled and nodded; he started to laugh and we laughed with him ... and he just told us as proudly as he would share a new song on his violin after secretly training to play it perfectly."

Mandar and Pallavi hardly realized how smiles had spread over their faces, forgetting their heartaches for a moment. Mandar's body began to tingle, imagining why Farhad had urged him to come out to Pallavi. Even if Farhad helped Raghav to trick and humiliate Amruta and Pallavi, and his loyalty to Raghav comes first, Farhad wouldn't pretend to like me ... he really wants a chance with me ... but I have to be loyal to Pallavi.

"Farhad called; he asked us to look after both of you," Rehana explained. "Farhad's Abbū and I don't want to intrude on your privacy; we only want you to feel safe telling us what you're ready to tell."

"Farhad went to talk to Raghav so that you'll be safe from him, Dādā," Nikhil added. "Dī, breaking up with Dādā doesn't mean you'll leave our family, right?"

"We're not breaking up," Pallavi quickly reassured Nikhil. "Ammī-Abbū, I can understand that you don't approve, but Mandar and I need each other."

"Beṭī, we approve of you choosing what is best for you!" Rehana exclaimed.

Gulshan nodded. "You aren't the first couple to feel this way. Imagine couples who have been married for a few years, couples who share children; when one partner comes out, they often seek comfort in stability, in their friendship and respect for each other."

Love, Mandar thought. What I feel for Pallavi is more than friendship and respect. I love her for taking my place in our family and choosing me over Raghav. And when we have children to hold us together, I'll resist temptations like Farhad ... and he won't want me anymore.

"Usually, they change their minds after some time," Rehana remarked. "When both partners are sure of their affection for each other, they can safely let each other go."

Pallavi stared at Ammī, tears stinging her eyes. Did Ammī think this was just a phase? Was she humouring Pallavi, waiting for her to outgrow her love for Mandar? Pallavi was committed to Mandar for a lifetime together; why couldn't Ammī accept that?

"Don't feel hurt, beṭī." Rehana patted Pallavi's hand. "I am only saying that my support doesn't depend on what choice you make. Never think you are stuck, beṭī. It is your life and you will learn from experience what is best for both of you."

"Dī, come home with us tonight, please?" Nikhil ventured after a silent minute or two.

Pallavi looked at Mandar with yearning. Why had she announced to Āī that she would first annul her marriage to Raghav, and then celebrate all the ceremonies of joining the Deshmukh household? She wanted to spend tonight with Mandar in their bedroom, where she could hear his breathing as she was used to hearing Raghav's, where she could reach out and touch Mandar, where she would know that he was safely hers and he wouldn't leave her behind again. It wouldn't be decorous, of course, right after their first date, without giving Subhadra even a day to file the petition for annulment. Should she care?