Another Way for Me to Reach You ⟫ Lucifer x Alastor

Chapter 1: An Interesting Man

Lately, Lucifer has been holed up in his room, not bothering to go out to eat or tend to his garden. Lilith, his wife by arranged marriage, knocked on his door. Just because their marriage was arranged, doesn't mean that she doesn't care for him. Meanwhile, Lucifer was watching the mortal realm through a crystal ball. He had spotted an interesting individual among the humans, and was invested in watching what he was doing. Lilith, having no reply to her knocking slowly opened the door to find Lucifer sitting on a chair, watching the crystal ball.

"Hon, it's only been a few days since you spotted that man." she sighs, "Why are you always watching him? It's not like he'll go to heaven if he dies or anything.". Lucifer taps the crystal ball once and it turns off. "Well sweetie, it's just really interesting. It's pretty hard to believe that a mere mortal can really do all this and not feel any guilt, or reaction." he replies, his tone amused as he recalls what he had watched. "If that's what you say.. But at least eat something, you've been locking yourself in your room and Charlie's getting a bit concerned about you." Lilith sounded a bit distressed. "Fine, fine. I'll go down later, just give me a moment." he waves her off as he switches the crystal ball back on.

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Meanwhile,  Alastor was in another one of his killing sprees. A group of people had seen him dragging a body through the woods and ran away when he turned to look at them. "Oh my, it seems like y food supply won't run out for another week or two~" he says in a sadistic voice as he raises his knife and begins to chase down the group that had scattered. "AAAAAAAAHHH!!!" A man screamed as Alastor's knife split his skull into two, he slashed up, cleanly halving the man's head. He then dashed towards the others, ready to strike, a murderous smile plastered on his face.

A few minutes later, Alastor has gotten his suit red with blood. He sighs, although he had gotten more food, it was quite a hassle to drag them all back to his small cabin near the edge of the woods. Eventually, he did it and got out a water bucket to cover the blood trails leading to his little house. He bounded the bodies by ropes on their wrists and feet and hung them up to his ceiling. A small carving knife was taken out of his pocket as he began to skin the bodies carefully with precision and expertise. The extra fat and tendons that were to his distaste were thrown to a bloody bucket on the side. Having fully skinned the bodies a few hours later, he then proceeded to drag it down into his basement, which also served as a huge freezer to preserve the bodies that he had killed.

After he finally hid all the bodies for now, he decided to hunt a deer for an appetizer at dinner. He walks out of his house with a double-barrel shotgun in his hand and proceeds to look for some deer. When he spots a deer, he aims his gun at it perfectly, but a sudden noise caused him to accidentally pull the trigger and miss, alerting the deer and making it run away. He curses silently and turns around to see a police officer holding a warrant in front of him. "Excuse me sir, but this area has strictly forbidden poaching!" the officer says in an authoritative and quite annoying voice. "Oh my, I'm sorry I didn't think I've ever heard of that? Was this just a new decree?" Alastor replies, his smile wavering a bit as he looks at the police officer with contempt. He hated people like this who interfered in his hunts and took the fun out of everything. "Yes sir, it's actually just established a few days ago. Wait a moment- are you the famous radio host, ___ am I right?" they ask as their eyes widened in realization. The officer walks closer to him and puts an arm around him. "You know, I'm a really big fan of yours! If you come with me to my house, I'll allow you to poach here, no warrant needed." they say with a strange but weirdly flirty glint in their eyes.  Alastor points his gun at the officer's head, and before the officer could do anything, he shoots it, blowing their brains out. "Hah, never going to happen." He replies with an annoyed grin, watching as the body of the officer falls to the ground. He sighs, instead of having a nice venison for his appetizer, he got a pathetic excuse of a human being for dinner, it even had one less delicious eyeball anymore because of the gunshot. 

Alastor proceeds to drag the body back with him towards the cabin, he decides to eat the body. As he dissects the body, he threw the 'dirty' parts in a bucket. He cuts off their limbs, making sure to also not damage the flesh so it would taste fresher after cooking. After fully mutilating the body into a disfigured but organized mess of bones and flesh, he plucks out an eyeball and eats it raw. Boiling it would make it slightly less chewy and make the flavor less well.. flavorful. He takes out a large metal pot and heats it over the fire, then he puts oil and cooks the flesh like one would venison. As he finally finishes, he decides to clean up first before digging in. He mops the floor, littered with blood and small pieces of 'undelicious' meat, humming a soft tune of 'I don't want to set the world on fire' as he cleans. 

After a change of clothes and setting the table, Alastor had a nice candlelit dinner by himself in his little wood cabin. Though he noticed that there was something missing in this ever so relaxing moment. He reaches out to turn on the radio and hums along to the music as he eats the human 'venison' with grace. Killing was really fun for him, and the delicious meat he gets after was really a two-in-one deal for him. And another bonus to that is that he gets to talk about his murders over the radio to inform people about it.

The next morning, Alastor wakes up and puts on his suit as he prepared to leave for work. He had a busy schedule ahead of him because he killed so many people yesterday. People have began to look up to him because of his cheery voice when he talks about missing people on the news and his sarcastic sense of humor. When he goes over these topics, he often leaves a few dad jokes here and there, adding to the people's unease and comfort when he talks about it in such a calm and optimistic tone. Some say it was because of his expertise in broadcasting that led him to be unfazed, while others think that hearing his voice is really comforting leading him to be the most famous radio host in all of Louisiana. 

Time skip brought to you by: Alastor's hidden tail.

"-A police officer disappears while on patrol against poachers in a nearby forest. I guess you could say they're 'dead meat'." Alastor gives a hearty chuckle to his own corny dad joke. "Well anyways folks, that's it for tonight! Your radio host, Alastor, signing off!" Alastor then turns off his mic. He decided that today, it would be nice if he got a change in meal other than just venison and human flesh. He puts his jacket back on as he walks out of his office's door. He'd have to buy some ingredients if he wants to make it at home, for him, it just tastes weird when someone else other than himself or his late mother makes his favorite dish. 

He arrives home, a bit tired by the day's activities. The line at the market was really long and he was cramped in there tightly. He had to remind himself that he was in public and to not kill anyone there. He takes off his jacket and hangs it on a rack. He pulls out the condiments and ingredients to make his favorite dish, jambalaya. He prepares the pot and hums to a pleasant tune of 'You're never fully dressed without a smile'. 

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Meanwhile, Lucifer was still watching all of this from a crystal ball, apple-flavored popcorn in his hand as he listens to Alastor hum. "Dang, he's just a human. Why am I suddenly so interested in him? Even just hearing his tune makes my heart flutter.." Lucifer shakes his head to try and get rid of what he suddenly thought. He, the King of Hell, having a crush on a human? That was laughable. The overlords will surely make fun of him for even daring to think that. But.. maybe it can happen. Lilith and he were not in-love after all. It was just some arranged marriage in pursuit of power. "When he dies and comes to hell.. I'll definitely make him mine!" he swears to himself as he munches on his popcorn. 

Meanwhile Lilith herself was watching him from a small opening of the door. She smiles knowingly, her husband has finally found someone he loves. She'd be sure to support him in the future, though she was a bit confused as she slowly closed the door, not wanting to alert Lucifer to her presence. She lets out a small chuckle. "Oh this little husband of mine.. I'm happy for you having your first love but.. I can't believe you actually swung that way." she thinks to herself as she walks down the stairs to play with Charlie.